


On The Other Shore

by shamandalie (meridalocksley)



Series: Vis A Vis & El Oasis [7]
Category: Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)
Genre: Bisexuality, Break Up (sort of), Choices, Complicated Relationships, Dark(er) Maca, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Estabilished Relationship (sort of), Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friendship/Love, Getting Back Together, Heist, Jealousy, Love Triangle (briefly), Mind Games, Motherhood, Open Relationships, Opposites Attract, Partners in Crime, Pregnancy (briefly), Soft(er) Zulema, The healthiest toxic relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:54:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24675691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridalocksley/pseuds/shamandalie
Summary: 🔶️El Oasis "Season 2" (post-canon, alternative timeline)🔶️Alternative ending in which the helicopter arrives earlier and Zulema has no intention to die anytime soon.And then a plot idea for a "Season 2" set half a year later.• Will Maca manage to have a quiet life with her baby or will she choose the outlaw life?• What did Zulema do after Maca left? What will she do if she comes back?
Relationships: Zulema Zahir/Macarena Ferreiro, Zulema Zahir/Original Male Character (briefly)
Series: Vis A Vis & El Oasis [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747813
Comments: 295
Kudos: 237





	1. Crossroad (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> Regarding their backstory/where they are in their relationship:  
> \- Everything from El Oasis happened, except for Zulema's illness. With a bit more stuff between them, of course.  
> OR  
> \- This is simply a continuation of On The Run With Your Enemy, just with Maca being pregnant/wanting to leave and the Ramala robbery inserted between them.  
> It makes sense either way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When will I be fed up with writing about them?  
> Seriously, I am waiting for that day,

The two women got into the noisy helicopter, breathing heavily, a relieved laugh escaping their mouths as they sat down on the small seats. They looked at each other and for a moment both of them were thinking that the other will go for a hug. But in the end neither of them did. So they just stared at each other, the joyful expression on their faces slowly being taken over by something else. A hint of sadness.

_And now where?_

The dark haired woman pulled herself together sooner, she nodded with a proud and warm smile silently saying _"We did it!"_ then she laid back in the seat closing her eyes. All she heard was the noise of the helicopter, which was taking her away from all the mess she created. But she didn't know where exactly she was going. The idea did not scare her though, she never truly knew. 

The blonde sighed, and straightened up looking through the window. The desert below them became smaller and smaller and she felt like she's drifting away from the life she was living in the past years. That's what she wanted after all. But she wasn't going into the direction she planned to. On the contrary, in that moment she was heading towards the exact opposite direction, with the very person she wanted to get away from.

.

Zulema stepped out of the kitchen to the terrace with two glasses of lemonade. She only saw pictures about this house when she bought it for herself. And she had only two things in her mind when she was looking for another safe place. It had to be isolated, and relatively well equipped. It turned out to be a pretty cosy beach home.

Maca was sitting in a swingbed on the terrace, looking at the sunset over the sea. 

"You never wanted to come here." Zulema said as she sat down near her handing her one of the glasses. "Isn't that ironic?" 

The blonde took the glass and continued staring into the distance. "I am not staying, Zulema." she sad.

The other woman's expression remained unreadable. "Ok." She shrugged and took a sip from the lemonade. It was sour. 

Neither of them said anything for a while, then Maca broke the silence turning towards Zulema. 

"You never even asked why I wanted to leave." 

Zulema looked at her being surprised. "I did. And I know. You want the mediocre normal life to be able to offer safety for your offspring..." she said coldly blinking at the blonde's belly, which did not show yet at all. 

Maca rolled her eyes. "Yes, that too..."

Zulema was so sure that Maca made a final decision. Yet now she seemed to be conflicted. Like so many times before. She was curious what could be going on in her head, but she didn't ask anything. She didn't care about her reasons. Or she just didn't want to know them. But she felt like she was waiting for her to ask something. She started to feel sorry for her. "Is there something else why you wanted to leave?" she asked.

"Yes." Maca finally turned towards her. "You."

Zulema blinked at her. She knew that she wanted to get away from the lifestyle they had together, but she wasn't expecting this answer.

"It's not just the baby, Zulema. That just made it a lot easier for me to make the decision, but I was already thinking about quitting before I found out that I am pregnant." 

Zulema swallowed uncomfortably. "Why?" 

"Because I am starting to be like you." Maca said. "And I don't want to be like you." she shook her head.

"Well I can understand that." Zulema nodded pondering. "I don't exactly like being me either..." she took another sip from the limonade. She started to get used to its taste. "But then why do you seem to be conflicted? You have all the reasons to go." 

Maca bit her lip, it was difficult enough to admit it to herself, it was not easier at all to admit it to Zulema.

"I am not conflicted." she put down her glass on the small table and stood up. "I am going to swim." she said and took off her top, so she was in her shorts and her bra. "Are you coming?" she looked at the brunette.

Zulema was perplexed. She wasn't planning to swim that day. But she thought why not, she got out from her pants and since she wasn't wearing a bra, with her long black T-shirt as a beach dress she started running after the blonde towards the sea. 

The water was a bit cold. Zulema stepped into it hesitantly. Maca who was already in the water grabbed her arm and pulled her towards herself so that they both fell into the water.

"It seems unpleasant only until you get used to it." Maca said when they both stood up in the water. "Then you find yourself not wanting to get out of it even when you know that you should." she swam closer to Zulema, ran her fingers up on her chest, stopped at the back of her neck and drew her into a kiss.

It was obvious to Zulema that Maca was not talking about the water. And now she was the one being conflicted. Was this the result of their adrenaline filled day? Does she want goodbye sex? Or was she just telling her that she doesn't want to leave?

She broke the kiss and looked at Maca holding her chin. "Is this a goodbye?" 

"I don't know." Maca shook her head. "Do we have to put a label on it? We just escaped that insanity alive, let's celebrate that. And maybe I'll see things more clearly tomorrow." 

Zulema nodded. And in case this was a goodbye, she was determined to make sure that Maca will miss her.

.

There were three rooms in the house. They woke up on the couch in the living room. 

Maca woke up earlier, which was unusual, she barely even managed to fall asleep. She dressed up then she looked at the sleeping Zulema. She opened her eyes.

"You were revolted at the idea of me watching you sleep."

Maca laughed. "It's a payback." She threw a pillow at her and stepped into the kitchen.

Zulema will soon expect an answer from her. Hell, she was also expecting an answer from herself. And she still didn't know what she wanted to do. She had no one waiting for her in the world. Maybe a brother with whom she hasn't spoken for years. And although Zulema obviously didn't want her to leave, she was not actively trying to do anything to convince her to stay either. She stepped back into the room with two cups of coffee. 

"You seemed to be wanting me to stay..." she said as she put down the cups on the table. "But did it ever occur to you what we'd do with a baby?" she turned towards Zulema.

"Well, no. Because until recently you didn't even care to tell me that you were expecting one!" Zulema answered on a slightly offended tone.

"And since I told you?"

Zulema shrugged. She didn't really think about it.

"Did you think I would not keep it or give it away?"

"I wasn't thinking anything, Maca." 

"Are you thinking anything now?" she insisted. She wanted her to say something. Something what would make it easier for her to make the decision. 

Zulema knew what Maca wanted to hear. She knew that she has put her in the position to put the final grain on the scale to make the decision. She wasn't going to do that. She wasn't going to promise things to her, and she wasn't going to frighten her away either. This was not a favour she wanted to make. This had to be Maca's decision and only her own.

She stood up, stepped to her, and for the first time in a long time grabbed her neck. It was symbolic, not led by intention. "You know who I am. You know me well enough to answer that question yourself, and maybe more accurately than whatever I'd say now would be. Don't ask me to decide for you, for heaven's sake!" 

Maca removed her hands from her neck and turned her back on her. She understood what she meant. Both of them knew that living with a baby near Zulema is not a good idea. She was chaos, danger and destruction. But in the same time she didn't want to say it out loud because then she'd be giving the final reason for Maca to leave. And it really looked like she didn't want her to leave, she was just ready to let her go if that's what Maca wants.

And in that moment Maca felt alone. Zulema was her associate, she became her lover and even her friend to a certain extent. But she wasn't her family.

"Who is the father by the way, if I may ask?" Zulema broke the silence.

Maca turned back towards her. "A guy from a club whom I ran into when I went out because we had a fight and I was angry with you. I didn't even get his name." 

Zulema raised an eyebrow. "So are you saying that it is my fault that you are pregnant?" 

"That's a way to put it..." Maca said pondering, then they both laughed.

Maca made a decision. Zulema knew because she noticed a teardrop in the corner of her eye.

"You want that baby, don't you?" she asked smiling.

"Yes. That's for sure." she said. "But I would also want this... what we have. It's just that..."

"We can't have everything at once." Zulema said with a sad smile.

"You know... the only thing I see clearer than yesterday is that, me not turning into someone like you is my responsability, not yours." Maca looked at her. "So that was not a good enough reason to want to give this up."

"But the baby is a good enough reason." Zulema said quietly.

Maca just stared at her. Then she stepped closer to her, and for the first time she simply just hugged her, tightly. This was the goodbye. "Yes. It is. I'm sorry." she whispered. "You can be its godmother, if you want to." Maca laughed. "I don't want to cut every tie towards you." she added pulling a bit away from her to look in her eyes. 

Zulema would have been an awful parent. But a godmother? She thought she can pull that off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I *might* continue this as a multi-chaptered fic, I am not sure yet. 
> 
> (And if I do, I am going to ignore Zulema's illness, I am tired of that story line. I am also not really interested in writing pregnant/mommy Maca. I have an idea what to do with that but it's not nice and you might not like it. 😶)


	2. Shadows of the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best not to be too cruel regarding the pregnancy/baby plot. :)
> 
> But if I made Zulema healthy, Maca can't have her baby either. I am planning to use their yin and yang in a different way. To mess it up in a different (and hopefully better) way to be more specific. :P
> 
> I am pretty happy with what I did with this, I hope you will like it too!

Zulema arrived home carrying a sack of dog food. She's been living alone for more than half a year already. 

She adopted Scorpius, a mixed breed stray dog, when she moved to this house from the trailer after Maca left. This was the house she bought a year ago for them to have a nearby stable place to go if something goes wrong, or to eventually move here if they become bored of the trailer. With Maca they had no real home but they've felt home everywhere. Now Zulema had two homes, on two continents, and she felt like she didn't belong anywhere.

She hasn't seen Maca almost since they moved out of the trailer. The blonde said that she didn't want to cut every tie to her, but they met only once since, because Maca accidentally packed a book Zulema wanted back to her stuff. They realized that they barely had anything to talk about. Since they were not sharing a life anymore they once again became strangers to each other, with almost nothing in common. Except for an almost uncontrollable drive towards each other. But that was not a bond anymore, nor a tie they could have cut, that was just magnetism they had no control over, and they both knew that it wasn't doing anything good to them at this point. Not to Maca at least. Zulema's darkness was dangerous for her. 

Her belly just started to show, and Zulema couldn't help but feel bitterness. She had long ago repressed and eradicated her maternal instincts, but there was a time, a long time ago, from almost a different life, when a younger version of her was laying in her bed the whole day, humming lullabies, and imagining what it would have been like to be able to hold her newborn daughter in her arms. She didn't even care to wipe off her tears. That girl died the moment she decided to seek revenge on the men who took her daughter away from her. She didn't want other children anymore. She changed too much and a child had no place in the life she was living anymore. And unlke Maca, she didn't want to give up this life. So seeing how the only person who seemed to care about her was now drifting away from her, and the reason for that being her getting something the absence of which made Zulema go down a dark path was painful for her. She didn't want to take that away from her, not at all. But neither did she want to see her happiness. Maca's light was hurting her. 

So all the communication they had in the past months were an exchange of _"Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"_ messages. Zulema was wondering whether Maca will call her at all after the baby is born. If it wasn't born already.

She frowned when she noticed that the door was open. She heard Scorpius barking inside. She reached for her gun and slowly entered the house.

When she saw the person sitting on her couch, with her dog near her legs she lowered her gun and couldn't help smiling.

"Sorry that I intruded just like this. You weren't at home, and I still had the keys... I also dared to open a bottle of wine from the fridge. I hope you don't mind." Maca raised the bottle which was in her hand.

Zulema noticed only then that she wasn't looking good. Her eyes were red, filled with tears. She put down the sack, she quickly stroked Scorpius's head who meanwhile ran to her and kept scratching her leg, then she sat down near Maca.

"What happened?" she asked, but as she looked at the blonde taking another long sip from the bottle she suspected the answer. "Is... Did something-"

"The baby is fine." Maca said before Zulema could have finished the question. "But I am not."

Zulema stared at her waiting for her to continue, but Maca just kept drinking.

"She was born two weeks ago. Everything was all right." she continued after a while with a pale smile running through her face. "Well, I couldn't give birth naturally because there were some minor complications but other than that everything would have been fine if I don't run into her father a couple of months ago." her voice was cold. Not the coldness when you don't feel anything, the coldness which comes after having felt so much that you don't have the strength to feel anymore. "I didn't tell him that it was his, but he became curious. He looked me up, he found out who I am. Then he realized that he wants the child. And he is a fucking lawyer, Zulema! He told me that I'll either sign the papers for him to have full custody and I can see her sometimes, _if_ he wants to. Or if I don't, then I can go back to jail. Long story short, I had to choose between giving up my child and keeping my freedom, or losing my freedom which also implies losing my child."

Zulema reached out to her, and held her in her embrace. It was an automatic reaction, she became conscious about it only when Maca buried her face into her shoulder and started crying. If there was one thing regarding which she was able to truly feel empathy than that was this. Zulema leaned down and kissed the top of her head, holding her tightly. She didn't even say that she was sorry. She knew that the words mean absolutely nothing. And she was amazed when it occurred to her that they were able to truly bond only when they were miserable.

"And you know what is the worst?" Maca straightened up. "That the only thing I've had in my mind for the past month is that I could kill him." she looked at Zulema, and there was something in her eyes what she hasn't seen since they were in jail. Deliberate cruelty. Back then this was directed towards her. Now she was the one trying to sooth her.

"No." she said firmly. "You are not going to do that. It just makes everything worse, trust me."

Maca stared at her being surprised.

"Did you come to me to help you carry out your revenge?" Zulema asked seriously moving a bit away from her.

"No. I don't _want_ to kill him. But I feel capable of doing it and that fucking scares me!"

"So of all people, you arrived to the conclusion that you'll come to _me,_ to keep you from shooting an asshole?" Zulema asked with disbelief.

Maca shook her head. "No. I just don't have that many people I can go to, Zulema. Roman is out of town. I barely know his wife..."

Zulema nodded. She reached out to her again and held her hand. Maca rested her head against her shoulder.

"And you know what another disturbing part of this is?" she continued. "That despite all this, in the same time... a part of me is-" 

There was a knock on the door and a man hurried into the living room.

"Sorry I'm late, but I kept looking at the schedule and something is not ok, we should revise the-" He stopped mid-sentence when he noticed the two woman on the couch and looked questioningly at Zulema. Scorpius was nervously barking at him. He was tall, probably in her early 40s, surely older than Maca, but younger than Zulema, rather handsome, but he had a face which instantly awoke mistrust and dislike in Maca.

"The timing is not appropriate, Miguel. We'll talk about it sometime later." Zulema looked at him still holding Maca's hand. 

"I see..." he blinked at their hands then at the blonde than back at Zulema. "But we have only two days left-" the man protested, but then he stopped talking, probably thinking about how openly he can talk.

Zulema stood up, she grabbed him from his jacket and stared into his face. ”I said the timing is not appropriate." she repeated more slowly. "So our meeting is rescheduled. I don't owe you anything. You have the access and the will but not the guts, nor the brains to do it. I have the latter three. And I don't tolerate you contradicting me. If we won't have time to finish it, then we won't do it. Simple as that. I'll do it some other time. I am not in a hurry. Now if you excuse me..." she said walking with him out of the room "I have a guest. Have a good evening." she said and closed the entrance door in front of him. 

"Plan? Access? Guts?" Maca looked at Zulema raising her eyebrows. "Did you replace me this easily?" she asked on a theatrically sad tone giving her a judging stare.

Zulema sucked her teeth. 

"I can't sit still for long. I get bored. You know that." she spread her arms. "He's a pain in the ass..."

Maca laughed bitterly. "At the beginning I was a pain in the ass too."

"But I did not treat you like an inferior!" Zulema answered.

"After I said that I am out if you keep doing it..." Maca shrugged.

"Are you jealous?!" Zulema frowned.

"Yeah... a bit." Maca nodded with a tired smile. "I didn't come to you just to cry on your shoulder."

Zulema stared at her without saying a word.

"Before he interrupted me..." Maca sat up. "I was about to say that... While losing the baby this way really broke me, in the same time do you know what else I feel?" she swallowed and shook her head. "It even feels wrong to say it out loud... And no, it doesn't take away a bit from the pain of this loss, it just arrogantly coexists with it. In some twisted way I feel like... I feel like now I can be back on the path I am supposed to walk on." she kept shaking her head as if she weren't able to believe her own words. "This is a kind of relief, Zulema. Relief! While I _wanted_ that baby! A part of me is thinking that she's maybe better off with him then with me. While another part of me wants to end him and take her back. What kind of person am I? How can someone feel such contradictory emotions at the same time?! Maybe all this wouldn't have happened if I would have stayed." she added quietly. 

Zulema didn't know what to say. On one hand she knew that this was not the first time Maca was dealing with contradictory emotions. Maca was the living manifestation of contradictory emotions. But this was the smaller problem. Maybe she was right, maybe if she would have stayed everything would have been fine. Maybe she should have convinced her to stay. She chased away the thought. That wouldn't have made sense. That would have been irresponsible.

She sat back down near her and placed her hand on her knee. "And in that case there is a good chance that you could have been shot already and both of you would be gone. Don't ever think in ifs, Maca. It doesn't solve anything. Always start from where you are."

Maca nodded. "I want to come back." she said without much thinking. "I have not given up on her. I am going to fight for my child, I want to be a part of her life and I want her to be a part of mine. But I can't do it as the fugitive who is at the mercy of that asshole. Don't get me wrong, I am not asking you to help me with it." Maca was lost in her thoughts for a moment, it looked like she was pondering whether to say something or not. "I am just saying that I felt stronger while I was with you, even if it scared me." she said finally. "I liked who I was. I was ready to give up all this for the baby, but I missed it from the moment I left."

She looked up at Zulema, who took a deep breath then she exhaled.

"Well..." she sat up and started walking in the room. "I have a dog now. If you still want to stick to your no pet rule then we'll have a problem, because I am not throwing him out." Zulema said firmly then a smile appeared in the corner of her mouth. 

"He can stay." Maca laughed. "And what about Miguel?" 

"What? You want me to throw _him_ out?" Zulema raised her eyebrows.

Maca shrugged. "I'm just asking... Since when are you working with him?" 

"Two months and a half. Roughly." 

Maca nodded. "Have you slept with him?" she asked casually.

Zulema stared at her feeling insulted. "Stop questioning me! You were the one leaving with a belly! And we've never been a couple anyway!" she added coldly when she realized that she was explaining herself.

"You've slept with him." Maca laughed. 

Zulema rolled her eyes.

"Why did it take so long for us then?" Maca asked jokingly.

"I don't know... Maybe we weren't that interested in each other?" Zulema shrugged. "Or one just allows herself to take things more slowly if one's thinking in long term." she added nonchalantly. "Or out of respect maybe..."

Maca stood up and stepped to Zulema. She stopped in front of her, for a moment just looking in her eyes. Things were so much simpler when she used to hate her and blame her for all of her problems. She pulled her closer to herself and gently brushed her lips against hers. Now she was seeking a refuge in her. And she was annoyed that Zulema didn't react the way she used to when Maca did this. She wanted her to be like she usually was, dominant, demanding, rough, taking over the control. Maca desperately wanted to feel something else and more intense than the pain and confusion pulsing in her chest. She found herself pushing Zulema against the wall, roughly claiming her lips, biting into them, digging her nails into her skin, wanting her to do the same. And for the first time she really understood why Zulema was like this for such a long time.

But now she wasn't acting like that. Now Maca just felt her fingers running through her hair, and when she pulled a bit away to look at her she knew that they were thinking the same thing. 

Maca wanted to distance herself from Zulema, out of the fear that she'll become like her. After half a year spent on her own, she came back being more like her than ever before. 

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your thoughts about a darker Maca? 👀


	3. Intersection of parallels

Maca woke up with a headache. She probably drank too much last evening. She never thought that she'll once again find herself having to put extra effort into seducing Zulema and having to fight herself through a lecture coming from this woman, she telling her how she doesn't think that living out her frustration and anger or trying to numb the pain this way is a good idea. _The double faced bitch!_ What was _she_ doing for years? And since when did them sleeping with each other have anything to do with anything else from their lives? But Maca wasn't annoyed by her anymore. Zulema eventually gave in. Six months were a long time after all, and not even Zulema's self-control could be stretched to the infinity.

She was now out somewhere with Scorpius, because that beast has been continueosly barking at them, and left her with this guy in the awkward silence.

Miguel was going through some papers. He blinked grumpily at Maca as she sipped her coffee. It was one thing that this guest slept here, but she was also moving around so comfortably in Zulema's house as if it would be her own.

The guy was not that bad as Maca initially thought. Aside from the fact that he was ready to stab his own employer in the back, he seemed to be quite alright. Zulema wanted to go through with this plan with him in the picture, she didn't think it would have been a good idea to send him off without his share. He knew too much. It occurred to Maca that for an earlier version of Zulema this wouldn't have been an issue at all. It even crossed her mind that maybe she doesn't even want to send him off at all.

"How did you two meet?" she asked. Zulema told her briefly, but Maca was curious about his version of the story too. 

Miguel raised his glance on her. Maca obviously didn't win his heart. And she found it both amusing and irritating that he kept looking at her as if she would be the intruder. 

"I was serenely walking home one day when an unhinged woman pushed a gun into my back and dragged me into a dark alley." he said. "I probably awoke her interest when I told her that she can win more than a simple access card if she teams up with me. She said that she was hoping that I'll say that." 

"Sweet." Maca said on an unimpressed tone. Zulema said that the guy begged her not to use his access card because they'd throw him out for his neglijence, and instead agreed that he'll help her steal even more valuables in some other way, if he'll have a share of it too. 

"What about you? She said that you're an old friend of hers, but she never mentioned you." 

"Did she mention anyone?" Maca laughed and took a sip from her coffee.

Miguel was thinking for a moment then he turned his gaze away from her. "No." he answered under his nose. "We barely talked about anything else than this." he said throwing the papers onto the table. 

"Are you crushing on her?" Maca smirked. She couldn't blame him. Zulema had that effect on people. If you weren't running for your life, away from her, if you were daring end crazy enough, you could find yourself one day slowing down, hoping that she'll catch you. There was no in-between.

The man stared back at her with a _How dare you?!_ look on his face. "Are you?" he asked instead of answering. Maca started to like him more.

"No. We're past that stage." she made a grimace. 

Miguel looked at her frowning. "Are you an ex of hers?" 

_An ex?_ Maca laughed. They've never been an actual couple for her to be an ex. And at the same time being an ex implies that something is over, in their case absolutely nothing was over.

"No. I am definitely not an ex." she said with conviction and a smirk, enjoying herself because of the perplexed expression which appeared on Miguel's face. The poor thing was seriously trying to decipher what her answer actually meant. She started to feel sorry for him.

"I mean she doesn't do relationships." she shrugged and took another sip from her coffee. "So don't get your hopes up too high." Maca pouted. "She's a piece of work..."

Miguel started to be fed up with Maca and her attitude. "How long are you staying?" he asked as he tried to focus on his papers again. 

Maca bit her lip. Should she be honest or should she prolong his suffering? She put some biscuits on a plate and placed them in front of him. "I don't know. I haven't been here for a while, I missed the climate." 

"The climate?" Miguel looked at her as if she'd be crazy. "This messed up, unpredictable weather when in the morning you have no idea what to expect, it could be sunny or there could be lightning and thunder or a flood chasing you home, and the nights are hot as hell and you are squirming in sweat in your bed barely being able to sleep?" 

Maca stared at him pondering. "Yes. Exactly what you said." she nodded. "I couldn't have described it better!" she grabbed a biscuit and took a bite from it smiling at him.

Miguel shook his head. Zulema might have been unhinged and a piece of work, but her friends weren't far from her either.

.

  
Zulema was sitting on a bench in the park looking at a profile on her phone.

It had a picture about a young man in a costume and a yellow tie arrogantly smirking into the camera. _Daniel Eriks, 38 years old, Civil litigation lawyer. Personally available on work days, between 9:00 - 13:00._ Then a phone number and the address of a public office.

 _Manipulative son of a bitch!_ she thought. And she had no idea what Maca could have seen in him. She must have been really angry with her. 

She made a screen capture about the information, she put away her phone and whistled to get Scorpius's attention. The dog jumping around in the leaves started to run towards her. She never put him on a leash.

"Come, Scorp, we've given those two plenty of time to chat about me. They probably know more than I do already..." she sighed and patted his head.

.

  
She entered the house with an "I'm back.", without checking up on the two sitting by the kitchen table. It was 11:25. She changed her mind. She thought that it will be enough if she spends time with both of them when it will be absolutely necessary.

She went to her room, got out of her hoodie, took a white shirt and a grey knee-length skirt out of the cupboard, some pieces of the few business formal wear outfits she owned, kept for special occasions. She washed off her makeup and put on a brighter one, covering her face tattoo, she arranged her hair up into a strict bun, and when she went downstairs and blinked at the two still buried in papers they looked at her with their mouths open.

"What?" Zulema stared at them being annoyed, spreading her arms. "You've never seen me in a skirt? You did, blondie, close your mouth."

"Where are you going?" Maca asked.

"On a date." Zulema said turning her back on them. "Don't wait up."

  
.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the ages of the characters are a bit off. But my Zulema is still 40-something, and my Maca still 30-something, ok?


	4. At the edge of the pit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Zulema has all along been having a redemption arc, and that sort of culminates here.  
> This is something they didn't fully want to do in the show, what I can understand in a way, but I am a sucker for redemption arcs, so here we go!
> 
> (The psychiatrist came out of me with this one, I hope I didn't go overboard with it, haha)

Zulema kicked off her heels the moment she entered the house.

It was late afternoon. She went upstairs, letting her hair down, and peeked into Maca's room through the half open door. The room was still filled with boxes. A part of them was stuff Zulema stored there while Maca wasn't there, another part of it was what Maca brought with herself when she moved back in. They still had a lot of baggage to unpack.

The blonde was sleeping on her belly, hugging a pillow, a tissue near her hand. Zulema stepped back slowly and quietly closed the door.

She thought that she'll better talk to her in the next day, when they are done with the heist.

.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay for launch?" Maca blinked at Miguel, who was standing in the doorway, ready to leave.

They went through with their plan and everything played out as they hoped. Except for some tiny details. One being that Maca almost shot a person instead of just intimidating her, she said that she doesn't know why she pulled the trigger, she wasn't consciously doing it. The other was that Miguel realized that there was obviously something going on between Zulema and her friend. And also that if he doesn't keep holding a door, bruising his entire left arm, said friend would have ended up being locked into a safe. Maca hated the fact that she had to feel grateful for him. Everyone got their share. Zulema said that it will be fair if they go with 50-50 as they initially agreed and she'll part her share with Maca. Maca didn't have much to say in the matter having had attached to them in the last minute, but Zulema's fairness annoyed her this time, although Maca didn't even care about the money, she would have been ok with Zulema keeping the whole amount of it, she just wanted to be a part if it to keep herself busy with something. Miguel was able to keep his job too. _Another lucky son of a bitch..._ But the kind the two women were not exactly hating, because he was their type of son of a bitch. Well, almost... 

"No, thank you." he said. He stepped towards the door but then he turned back. "But since we three warmed up to each other so well, and almost everyone is involved with almost everyone, what do you say, couldn't we-"

"No. You stop there!" Zulema interrupted him closing her eyes and raising her arms protesting. "Don't even finish that question!" she said firmly.

Maca laughed. 

"It was just an idea..." Miguel raised his hands apologetically. 

Zulema stepped to him and kissed him. The blonde ostentatiously turned her back on them, silently coughing and thrust the knife a bit more roughly than she intended to into the bread she was slicing. After some long seconds, or minutes, or hours, she couldn't tell, she heard Zulema's voice again.

"Goodbye, Miguel. You are actually more clever than you seemed to be at first. If you find out something about that other thing, call me. We are not such a bad team." 

Maca rolled her eyes. 

The door closed and Zulema stepped back into the kitchen. "What an idiot..."

"You seem to like him, though..." Maca said bitterly. 

"It's better if he leaves with bonds and good memories about me. Him being bitter could be a boomerang which could end up hitting us in the face one day. He better pops up being useful." she said neutrally and stole a piece of cheese from the table.

That _'us'_ made Maca feel a bit less tense and annoyed. "You're very prudent..." she said ironically.

"I'm not sure that's the best word to use..."

"Are you really that much against the idea of a threesome?" Maca looked at her laughing.

Zulema blinked at her being surprised, with the cheese halfway into her mouth. "Yes." she said firmly. "I do have my boundaries."

"You? Boundaries?" Maca raised her eyebrows and put down the knife laughing. 

"Yes. We all have some at one point or another..." Zulema shrugged chewing the food. "But why? Would you have been up to it?" she asked raising her eyebrows too. "You're disappointing me..." she gave Maca a judging look and stepped away.

"It's not really my thing either. But I guess I'd rather have been a part of it then leave you two up to it." Maca shrugged.

Zulema looked at her with disbelief. "Since when are you so pathologically clingy and possessive?" 

"Since when are you tiptoeing around Miguels?" Maca smiled and ran her hand over Zulema's waist and brushed her cheek against hers as she passed her by to grab some forks. "I was just kidding. And I am not possessive, relax, no one can put you on a leash, and I don't intend to do that either. But I missed you." she whispered into her ear.

Maca was in fact not in the mood at all to kiss Zulema just minutes after she snogged someone else. But she wanted to reclaim what she saw as her territory. They've both had futile affairs with other people in the past years, but it was different when you actually spent days, respectively months together with the other person.

 _Oh good heavens...._ Zulema exhaled looking up at the ceiling.

She wasn't convinced that Maca was joking. Childbirth in general, depression, PTSD, extreme stress, all these things usually did not go with dizinhibition, on the contrary, but it wouldn't even a surprise her if Maca's reactions would be paradoxal. That would be just Maca being Maca. It was not that Zulema minded her behaviour per se... But these were red flags and she kept seeing them from the moment Maca returned. And her more libertine attitude was the less concerning issue.

She was not being entirely herself and Zulema saw that. She almost killed someone, unintentionally, but out of negligence because she wasn't really present or she didn't truly care. And this was just the beginning. Maca started to spiral down towards a dark pit, Zulema recognized the signs, because she went to the bottom of that pit herself. And it took decades for her to crawl out of it. If she's been out of it at all, because it didn't truly feel like it. She might have not been on the bottom anymore, but she still had a long way to go. And she didn't want to be the catalyst of Maca's descend into darkness. Not this time, not after Maca has been the one helping her out of it in the past couple of years.

"Hey!" she turned back towards her. "Have you shot a gun recently? Except for last night, I mean..." she added. "Do you want to go out in the open for a practice?"

.

  
After lunch they went out to the grassy hillside glade where they used to be settled down while living in the trailer. 

Maca noticed the tambourine Zulema bought while suffering an emotional low last year in the middle of the place. "What is that doing here?" Maca turned towards Zulema. 

"I brought it here when I came out for a walk with Scorp last evening. But we don't have anything to do with it right now. Let's set up these targets."

Last evening Zulema wasn't planning to come to a shooting practice with Maca. But today she saw it being necessary for her to let off steam this way too.

Ten minutes later she handed a gun to Maca, and the blonde aimed, and fired, emptying the magazine, not missing any of the rag dolls they set up. Zulema silently took the empty gun from her, gave her another one, refilling the old one meanwhile. They did this a couple of times. When during the third round Maca was angrily firing at the same rag doll, shouting and pulling the trigger even when the gun was empty, looking blankly in front of herself, Zulema waited a few seconds then she gently put her hand on hers, lowering her arm and taking the gun away from her. 

"That will be enough." she said. She was convinced that Maca in her mind was shooting at someone, but until she wasn't actually doing it, it was ok. 

Maca remained in the same spot staring in front of herself. "What the hell is happening to me?" 

"You're overwhelmed with emotion. Just allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling." Zulema sat up on the side of the tambourine dangling her legs. "You want to jump around on this?" she asked. 

"I am really not in the mood, Zulema..." the blonde shook her head as she stepped near her. 

"It doesn't matter." Zulema reached her hand towards her, and helped her up on it.

She started jumping around, making Maca want to join her. She impassively gave in and jumped around with a bored expression. Slowly the anger dissolved and she started to let herself go. She held onto Zulema's hand and for a short while she felt at ease, laughing light-heartedly, feeling almost carefree, like a child.

 _Like a child._ Then she started to cry. She sank down and started hitting the edge of the tambourine, her tears were flowing. Zulema laid down near her. Maca started hitting her too. The brunette didn't do anything, she wanted her to bring every repressed emotion to the surface, so she just grabbed her shoulder and touched her forehead with hers. Maca soon realized that she was hurting her and she slowly calmed down. "I'm sorry." she whispered avoiding Zulema's gaze.

"It's ok." Zulema said and caressed the back of her head. Maca turned on her back with a sigh and looked up at the sky.

"I'm losing my mind..." she said quietly.

When her breathing was calmer, Zulema reached into her pocket and took out a piece of folded paper and handed it to Maca. "Is this her?" 

The blonde took the paper and unfolded it. Then she looked back at Zulema being amazed. "How?!"

It was a printed picture taken about a framed photo about a baby with warm brown eyes and a big smile staring into the camera.

"I've told you that I went on a date yesterday." Zulema shrugged. "I went to that Daniel's office. This was on his desk. I took a picture while he went out to answer his phone. It didn't go exactly as I planned... but I used all my psychopathic charm and I found out a couple of things. I don't think he's a bad person, Maca. Arrogant? Yes. But I think she really loves her. He said that her wife can't have children, their relationship almost ended because of it, but they managed to adopt this baby recently." 

Maca clenched her hand into a fist. She didn't want to hear this. She wanted reasons to keep hating him. 

"He probably didn't want you anywhere around them, because he thinks that you are dangerous. And it's a sure thing that he doesn't think that people like us deserve anything. He's that kind of person. So it won't be easy, but take it slowly, even if you feel like you want to shoot him right now. That wouldn't solve anything. Try talking to him. Show him that you are all right, that you are not a whirlwind threatening them, show him that you are... not like me. Show him simply that you just care. And it might take time, but I think he's the kind of person who would eventually let you in."

Maca didn't want to hear this either. Especially not from Zulema. She would have preferred her to grab a gun and go help her steal back her baby, not to talk to her about how she is supposed to wait. But deep down she knew that Zulema was right. Anything else she would do, would only bring her back to jail. 

"Why are you doing this for me?" she turned towards Zulema.

 _Because my life would have_ _probably_ _turned out entirely differently, had there been someone doing it for me._ Zulema thought.

"This must be difficult for you." Maca added.

She in big knew about Zulema's beginnings. She didn't know everything but she was aware of the important parts.

Zulema shrugged. "I just stalked an asshole and took a picture, don't overreact it."

"Thank you." Maca smiled at her.

Zulema nodded with brief smile. This was probably the first thing in decades, if not ever, that she was doing something entirely selflessly, without being under pressure, without gaining anything from it. On the contrary, if this works out well, she could lose Maca, again. She thought that being selfless will be painful, she thought that it will rip her into pieces, especially in this case, for multiple reasons. But it didn't. On the contrary, she never expected this, but for some reason while lifting Maca up, she felt like she was lifting herself up too. 

"And what if I _am_ a whirlwind?" Maca asked looking at the picture. 

Zulema blinked at her. _Then the baby has a pretty responsible father._ Zulema thought. "You are not a whirlwind." she said. "Most of the time you are not... And everyone has the right to sometimes be one."

"Do you know what they called her?" Maca turned towards Zulema. 

"Esperanza." Zulema said smiling. She straightened up squeezing Maca's shoulder, and jumped down from the tambourine starting to pick up the stuff they left scattered around them.

For some reason right then Zulema didn't feel like a child would be so incompatible with her life. Especially if the child has another home as well.

 _No, that would be irresponsible._ She chased away the thought once again, shaking her head as she picked up the third gun and threw it into a backpack. 

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will probably take longer than usually until I come up with a continuation, because I used up all the clear ideas I had in these last 3 chapters. So bear with me. 😶


	5. The good old times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bridge-kind of chapter, because I wanted to shake up the dynamic between them.  
> And no, I am not planning to ruin Maca's character, she'll come out of this stronger than ever before. :)

Daniel answered Maca's text in which she asked whether she could visit her daughter three days after she sent it. He said that he is busy, but he might be able to squeeze her visit into his schedule sometime around the end of the next week, but he can't promise anything. He also said that he wanted to be present if it happens, but he obviously wasn't at all enthusiastic about it happening.

Maca angrily threw her phone on the other side of the bed.

On the other hand, for Miguel it took less than a week to find out something about "that other thing". He called Zulema in the morning, and now she was out to meet him. Maca had no idea what the "thing" was. She asked Zulema about it, her answer was that it's just an irrelevant left over piece they have to deal with regarding something they'we done before. Maca didn't ask again about it. It started to look like Zulema knew Miguel earlier than when she pushed a gun into his back on the street and ended up working with him on their latest heist. But she did not enlighten Maca with more details.

She left in the late afternoon. It was almost 10 pm and she still hasn't returned. It wasn't as if Maca would have counted the hours, she was used to Zulema living her own life, minding her own business, she always did this after all. The difference now just was that this time around, the business had a sharp jawline and a stubble beard, and Maca knew his name.

She shook her head. _I am not jealous. I am just bored. Yeah. Bored..._ She got up from the bed, and went downstairs.

Scorpius was scratching the front door, he wanted to come in. Maca opened the door for him. She wasn't a dog person, but this beast has been rather friendly with her so she didn't mind him being around. 

She wanted to make tea, and while looking for a spoon in the drawer her gaze fell on a couple of extasy pills, she left those there last summer. Zulema obviously hasn't used them, Maca didn't even know why she kept them. She didn't even hesitate, she took one, then she stepped out to the terrace, with Scorpius after her and looked at the dark sea far below in the distance. It seemed so peaceful.

.

When Zulema arrived home she found Maca laying on the ground on the terrace, her back against the wall, she was staring blankly into the distance with an absent minded smile on her face. Scorpius was licking her hand.

 _For heaven's sake!_ She grabbed her arm to help her up. "What happened?"

"Oh... Hi!" Maca smiled at her when she processed that Zulema is there. "Why did you keep those pills, were you hoping that I'll come back?" she asked with a mischievous smile.

Zulema rolled her eyes. "Come, we're going to bed." 

"Ok... As you wish..." Maca let Zulema lift her up, she rewarded her with carelessly caressing her face, running her her fingers from her forehead to her chin, stopping at her lips, then she laughed. 

"Not this bullshit again!" Zulema impatiently removed her hand from her face.

She helped Maca to her room, brought her a glass of water, and looked down at her with contempt and a hint of concern.

Then she turned around and left the room. 

.

Zulema almost finished eating her breakfast, Maca was still playing with her omlette, moving it with her fork from one side of the plate to the other. She looked awful. They haven't talked much in the morning. 

"Stop ruining yourself. I am not going to pamper you." Zulema blinked at her. 

"I didn't expect that." the blonde made a grimace.

"Good. I only wanted to make you feel better last week, because I think that _anyone_ in your situation should have someone to lean on. But if you keep handling things like this, don't count on me. I don't have the patience or the time for bullshit like this."

"I didn't ask for anything, Zulema..."

"No, not with words at least. Look at yourself! Do you think if Daniel would see you like this he'd be more willing to allow you anywhere near his daughter? You've always been whiny, but now you're starting to be a mess... " Zulema stood up to put her plate into the sink.

Maca gave her a killer gaze.

"She's also _my_ daughter." 

"Yeah... But anyone would agree that she's better off with him. And to be honest... nowadays I tend to think that too." she said with a bitter laugh.

Maca stood up, stepped near Zulema, looked in her face for a moment, then she slapped her. "Because you've been such a good example of a mother!" she sad mockingly.

Zulema grabbed her neck and pushed her against the cupboard. "No. I never sad I was." her grip on her neck tightened. Like in the good old times. In some sick way in that moment they both almost felt nostalgia for those times. No matter how well they got along in the past years, they started from such a bad place that given the circumstances their residual hate towards each other could errupt like a volcano. "In fact I was such a bad example of a mother that I've barely seen my daughter in twenty years, because when I was't in jail, I was playing Bonnie and Clyde. What are you exactly doing now?" Zulema laughed and shook her head. "But from where I come from I had zero chance to get her back. If you want to fuck up your chance, do it, I don't care, but don't you dare bringing my past up to make yourself look better!"

Maca wanted to remove her hand from her throat, but Zulema was holding her firmly, she dug her nails into her hand and kicked her to make her let go of her. 

"Don't fucking hit me!" Zulema grabbed her arm roughly once again making her look back at her. "I did it once, but I won't be constantly trying to pull you back whenever I see that you're looking for ways to fall back downwards. I am not your mother, neither your sister, nor your fr-..." Zulema bit her lip, swallowing her last word. "Just do what you want... I don't care." she let go of her and sat back to the table, sipping the rest of her coffee.

Maca gave a hateful look to her, then she turned around, grabbed her jacket and left the house.

She found herself face to face with Miguel, who was standing in front of the house, he was just about to push the bell. _Amazing..._ Maca opened the gate.

"She's all yours." she said without looking at him, stepped out on the street and disappeared around the corner.

.

Entering the house Miguel found Zulema smoking on the terrace.

"Troube in paradise?" he asked.

Zulema blew out the smoke and turned towards him. "Paradise would be a hell of a boring place without a bit of trouble."

Miguel shook his head smiling. He still wasn't completely sure about what exactly was going on between Zulema and the blonde, and he was probably even less sure about what was going on between him and Zulema, but he found himself being content even without having the answers.

"What have you found?" Zulema asked.

"The cargo arrives in four days."

"We've already known that. More or less. I told you to come here only if you find out something important." she turned her back on him turning back towards the landscape.

Miguel stepped behind her, he removed a lock of hair from her shoulder, and placed his other hand on her waist. "This seemed important to me." he shrugged. "And you left early last evening."

"I was sleepy." Zulema said blowing out the smoke. 

Approaching this woman was like putting up all your money in a hazardous gamble. He had the feeling that one could never know for sure whether he'd end up getting laid or with a bruise under his eye and her gone with the chance of not seeing her ever again. Only recently he started to feel confident enough to actually make the first move. At least until the blonde appeared in the picture, then he didn't know how to act once again. And Zulema didn't do much in that direction either. But the blonde wasn't around now, and Zulema was. 

She continued smoking, almost ignoring the man who was now placing kisses on her neck. 

"How come you don't want Macarena to be a part of this heist?" he asked. 

"She's unpredictable nowadays." Zulema answered briefly.

"So that makes me predictable..." Miguel said being slightly insulted and bit into the skin on her neck.

Zulema pushed him away with her elbow, Miguel was surprised that he could go on for this long at all. She took a last inhale from the cigarette, threw the stub away and leisurely turned around towards the man. 

"Totally predictable." she said on a bored tone, but with the hint of a smirk in the corner of her lips which drove Miguel crazy. This was a challenge.

He clashed his lips against hers, arching her back over the railing of the terrace. He knew that Zulema hated to be cornered, so it was no surprise for him when they ended up on the other side of the terrace, with him pinned against the wall. 

"Still so predictable..." Zulema shook her head mockingly.

She usually didn't go on with her affairs for longer than a couple of occasions. Her acquaintance with Miguel started as a one-night stand, almost five months ago. Then they bumped into each other again a couple of months later and they realized that they could work together. The exact opposite than what happened with Maca. Another difference between him and Maca was that he was not whiny, he didn't ask too many questions, and most importantly, he barely knew anything of importance about her. No past, no baggage, no moving in together, just robberies and sex. It was superficial, yet refreshing. For now.

"What the hell do you see in me?" Zulema asked as she ran her fingers through his hair while he placed open mouthed kisses on her chest. She was a bit afraid of the answer.

Miguel straightened up, looking at her, hesitating for a moment. He had no idea what he saw in her. The woman was a walking black hole.

"I don't know, maybe a box of pure gold arriving in four days." he shrugged.

"Good then." Zulema nodded and kissed him again. She didn't expect this answer, but she was pleased with it.

Unlike Maca, Miguel seemed to not mind saying what he knew that Zulema wanted to hear, even if he didn't mean it. They both knew, that it's just a matter of time before this explodes too. But as always, until then Zulema kept consciously putting more wood on the fire.

. 

Maca arrived home in the late afternoon. Zulema was laying on the couch reading a book. Despite their earlier argument she seemed to be in a good mood.

"Where have you been the whole day?" she turned towards the blonde. 

"Why do you care? Do I ever ask you about your time spent alone?" Maca asked crustily.

 _Touché..._ the brunette thought. "Whatever..." she shrugged and focused back on her book. "There's lasagne in the oven if you want to eat." she added.

Maca looked at her frowning. "Is that an apology?" Zulema barely ever apologized for anything. But neither did she often cook lasagne, when Maca wished to eat it, she always had to make it herself.

"No. That's an Italian dish made out of flat pasta." the brunette said indifferently.

Maca snorted. "I'm not hungry." she said.

She was hungry. But she turned her back on her and went upstairs. If she expected an apology from Zulema, she also owed her one. But they never handled their arguments in such simple, civilized manners.

Zulema shrugged once again, and turned the page.

.


	6. Turning point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter which I've written around the baby plot. I dragged that out longer than I initially wanted to anyway.  
> The baby might pop up later too in a way or another, but not in the context it did until now.

The next couple of days passed by with Maca sulking. Zulema was just distant. But whenever one of them tried to stir up a conversation it led to them throwing stuff into each others faces again. Maca didn't even know what she was still doing in this house at this point. She was not working with Zulema and Miguel on their upcoming robbery, she was not even seeing Zulema much. But she didn't want to go back to her small, dark apartment either, that would drive her crazy. She was planning to buy a new home a couple of months ago. But why would she do that now?

"Do you really think I'd be a bad mother?" she once turned towards Zulema.

"Does my opinion suddenly matter?" the other laughed bitterly, blinking at her from the couch.

"Cut the crap..." Maca looked at her with a tired gaze.

"Well... You could have been a good one... if you don't run back to me the moment you are alone again." the brunette answered.

Maca looked at her being perplexed. "What?!" 

"You said it yourself that you missed this the moment you left." the brunette straightened up shrugging. "If you missed me... than you're simply crazy." she laughed. "I can understand you, though. I'm good, there is stuff to miss." she continued with a smirk and Maca wanted to punch her in the face to make it disappear. "But you would get over that eventually. On the other hand... If you missed this life..." Zulema shook her head while sucking her teeth. "There's no way getting past that once you tasted what makes you roar. And this life is no good place for a baby." 

"Why were you giving me the pep talks then, huh? Telling me to keep fighting?" 

"Because I thought that that's what you wanted to do! And I thought that you would be able to give this life up once again to get it! I was convinced about that! But when I realized that you have second thoughts..." 

"What makes you think that? Do you think that I am that selfish that I'd choose the life I want over my child?!" Maca snapped.

Zulema wasn't sure about that. But Maca was still here. Even when she was pissed off, even when she was frustrated that she didn't want her to help them with their plans, even when Zulema was trying to keep a distance from her, to make it easier for her to leave. Because no matter how hard she tried to imagine Maca both leading this life and getting back her child, something didn't click. 

"I don't know. But you are a thief, you've put the selfish label on yourself a long time ago, blondie. We were not playing Robin Hood." 

Maca turned her back on her rolling her eyes and stepped to the oven. _To hell with my pride, I am hungry..._

Yes, Maca missed this life. And yes, she was also jealous of Miguel. Not exclusively because he had an affair with Zulema, Maca was well aware of what being involved with Zulema meant. But in the first place she was jealous because Miguel led the life she wanted to but did not have the strength right now to keep up with. Of course, she would have preferred if they could still solve their arguments the way they used to, with makeup sex, governed by anger, but what actually led to tenderness and them being able to serenely go on with their days after and not bring up neither the conflict, nor the sex, not until their next fight at least. It was not a healthy way to deal with their problems, but it used to work for them. But that didn't happen now. Zulema was too distant.

Maca wasn't addicted to her, she might have been at one point, but not anymore. But instead she became addicted to something else, the only thing, Zulema has been all along addicted to as well. To freedom. 

"I am not _that_ selfish." she said as she put the last piece of lasagne on her plate. She was still angry with Zulema, but mainly because she was afraid that she was right.

The brunette followed her with her gaze as she sat down to eat. "And if you indeed seriously struggle giving up this life, then I am telling you... don't fool yourself thinking that it's like an addiction you can quit."

Maca's hand stopped in the air as she was bringing a piece of lasagne to her mouth. Zulema straightened up, and stepped to the fridge to make herself a sandwich since the blonde has just eaten her dinner.

"For people like us this is the air we breath. You can't quit on air. You'd suffocate." she added. 

.

Four days later Zulema appeared at home in the middle of the night, slamming the front door. Maca went downstairs hearing the noise.

"Was that really necessary, you idiot?!" she snapped at Miguel. 

"Are you seriously complaining about how I saved your life?" Miguel's answer came indignantly. 

"What happened?" Maca asked.

"Stealing is one thing, stealing from thieves is tricky..." Miguel sighed. "They recognize another thief."

"It's not tricky if you stick to the plan!" Zulema said nervously. "We were one step away from it, damn it!"

"What should I have done?!" Miguel asked. "The plan was that I get the gold until your distract their attention, but they must have sniffed out something because they instantly pointed their guns at you and dragged you with themselves. And they were three against one!"

"And? Where's the problem with that? You should have taken the gold, the rest was my duty. But no... You had to play the hero." she rolled her eyes. "I thought you were more eager to have that gold." Zulema added sharply looking Miguel in the eye.

Maca moved her gaze between them, she started to realize where the problem was. 

Miguel just looked back at Zulema with open mouth. What could he say? _My apologies for the fact that I care more about you than about the damned gold?_

"I would have gone after the gold, just for you to know." Zulema said coldly. "This one here would have done the same" she nodded with her head towards Maca "without giving me a second thought, wouldn't you, blondie?" 

Maca raised her eyebrows. _Would I? Did I ever, you bitch?_ she asked her in her mind recalling similar situations they faced.

"At least I guess she would have done that today." Zulema added and looked at her with the hint of a smile. "Anyway..."

Maca rolled her eyes and stepped away from them.

"I only came here to grab my laptop." Miguel broke the silence after a short while. "Can I do anything else for you?" he asked.

"No. This was more than enough for today." Zulema closed her eyes and sank down into the sofa.

"I owe you a box of gold..." he sighed as she passed by near her.

Zulema laughed and opened her eyes to look at him. "Good luck with repaying it then."

Miguel felt bad for having messed up the plan, but could have Zulema really been able to handle the three armed men on her own or was she bluffing? On the other hand something told him that if she'd be truly angry with him she would be a lot worse and he wouldn't be anywhere near her right now.

"We'll find a way..." he shrugged with a smile, nodded towards Maca and headed towards the door. 

"Why didn't you want me to help with this?" Maca turned towards Zulema. "I could have. I wanted to." 

"Because you were of so much help the last time..." Zulema sighed rubbing her forehead. "You have to solve your issues. That's enough for you to deal with."

Maca didn't say anything. She changed the subject. 

"You would have done it for him too, wouldn't you?" she asked with a smirk.

"What?" 

"Leave the gold and help him, had he been in danger." 

Zulema laughed. _The questions..._ "Don't be ridiculous... Is that how you know me to be? And I was not in any danger, not a bigger one than usually..." 

"Yeah, sure..." Maca left it at that. "But I don't even know if I know you anymore. You were one person when I got to know you. Another when I lived with you. And you seem to be different now too..." 

"Essentially taken I am still the same person you met, blondie." Zulema sighed. "The only difference is that I am not locked into a cage anymore. Being caged brings out the worst parts of you. And after that... you have to learn to live with it. And although I wasn't that bad, I wasn't exactly a saint before being locked up either..." she laughed bitterly. "And now there's also the fact that I have an annoying guest around who gives me more headache than a teenager probably would..." 

Maca didn't even hear her last sentence, she llooked at Zulema pondering. Based on what she just said she started to reach a conclusion she wasn't exactly proud of.

"What are you thinking?" Zulema frowned seeing her expression.

"I ended up in jail because I got involved into a theft. What if _this_ has been me all along? What if the jail just brought out the part of me which admits that I enjoy doing this?" 

_Bingo_. Zulema looked at her without saying a word. 

"When I imagined myself having a normal life I always saw a family. I have a child now, but she has _another_ family... And that life is the normal one, not mine. I would see this entirely differently if I would be holding her in my arms right now, but his way... Even if I succeed to be a part of her life what can I give her what she doesn't have? Who would I be? Even if I wouldn't be the selfish outlaw woman who gave up on her, who would I be? The birth-mother who used to be in jail and who gave her up to "give her her best chance", but keeps sticking around, and she would be ashamed of that? Wouldn't this be painful for both of us?" 

"You can't be sure about that." Zulema said silently. "And it could be worth the pain. I don't know..." she said shaking her head. "I have no fucking idea. What I know is that the alternative is not exactly painless either..."

Maca stared at her frowning. She realized that they reached a point about which Zulema did not have a clear standpoint either. She did not get the chance to have to make this choice.

"Would you keep insisting to be a part of her life in my place now?" 

"I don't know, blondie..." Zulema sighed. "I am not in your place and I don't think with your mind, thank God..." 

Maca rolled her eyes turning her back on the brunette. Why did she expect any help at all? This was a decision she had to make on her own.

"What was it what I did that made you so sure that I wouldn't be able to give up this life?" she asked staring out through the window into the darkness, but all she saw were a couple of lights in the distance and her own reflection. 

"You kept insisting to be a part of it even when I gave you space to fix yourself." Zulema answered firmly. "Had you really been trying to want to pull yourself together to make a good impression for your baby daddy, to give yourself a chance, then getting involved in stuff like this would not have kept crossing your mind in the first place."

"Is this why you kept sulking? To push me away?" Maca turned back to look at her.

"Not exactly to push, but... yeah. This and your annoying remarks."

Maca turned back towards the window. "Am I an awful person?"

"We are who we are. In the end I don't think we have much say in the matter." Zulema shrugged.

Maca swallowed. "Do we have something strong in the fridge?"

"No. I drank it while I was angry with you." Zulema stood up from the couch and stepped to her. "Stop running to substances to numb your feelings."

"What should I run to then-" she turned around again but couldn't finish the sentence because Zulema's lips silenced her. The last time she was distressingly reluctant, saying that this is a bad idea, but not now. Now she knew that with doing this she was not luring Maca to the dark side anymore. Maca stepped there already out of her own free will. Twice.

"You missed me too, admit it!" Maca demanded leaning against the windowsill.

"Nah..." Zulema shook her head with a playful grimace. "Missed might be too much to say. But I don't mind that you're back... It had its perks having you around." Zulema said objectively.

"Bitch!"

"Pussy."

Maca laughed and put her arms around Zulema's neck, pulling her back closer to herself. She knew that despite them verbally insulting each other, on a deeper level there was an underlying care, probably nothing could mess with anymore. She had no idea what twisted part of her mind could come to associate the firm grip of Zulema's fingers on her wrists with the most intense freedom she has ever felt, but that was exactly what she did.

And in a contradictory way, as always, she once again found herself turning her back on the the normal life she has always dreamt about, that door did not want to open up for her. She was tired to keep on spending years fighting for the life she imagined for herself. She wanted to make the best out of the one she had in front of her.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you might not like what I did with Maca in this chapter, but if they made Zulema drop her guns and allow herself to be shot just like that, then Maca can do what she does here too. I'm sorry, I'm not sorry.
> 
> The way I see it, Maca and Zulema can stay together only if Maca lets go of her wish to have any kind of normal life.  
> And them parenting a baby together is not something they could or would be interested to do in my opinion.  
> 


	7. Roundabout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Thank you so much for the comments on the previous chapters! Your feedback means a lot!! ♥  
>   
> It takes me longer to post new chapters nowadays for two reasons:  
> 1\. less free time.  
> 2\. and less obsessive ideas, haha. (I still have some in store, though!)
> 
> Here is a Zulema-centric. :)

"This is still just sex, you're aware of that, right?" Zulema blinked at Maca through the mirror while she was putting on her eyeliner. "I might care about you enough not to want to see you ruining your life, well... not more than this.. But we're not a couple, we are not going to continuously share a bed, we go on with our lives the way we used to, no romance involved, no public display of affection, no unnecessary display of affection at all in fact, nothing among these lines, you know the drill." 

The blonde finished buttoning her shirt and stepped behind Zulema placing her hands on her shoulder and looked at the brunette's reflection in the mirror. "Do you want me to sign a contract?" she asked insolently. "Relax... I know the drill." she whispered into her ear as she moved her hands to her chest. 

Zulema stared indignantly at her own reflection in the mirror. "It's exactly stuff like this I am talking about!" she said brusquely holding the eyeliner pen in the air. "And I'll mess up my makeup because of you..." 

"My apologies..." Maca said ironically and softly bit into her earlobe before she let go of her laughing. She wasn't making this to show affection, not exclusively, neither to annoy Zulema, not really, she was doing it because she enjoyed seeing that she can poke her limits without ending up burned. "I love it how you keep putting back on the imperturbable, closed off, cold image once things are fine and on track." she said stepping away from her.

"It's not an image, this is my character." Zulema said calmly blinking at her reflection, being totally satisfied with how her winged eyeliner turned out today. 

"Yeah, sure... Besides..." Maca put her hair into a ponytail and looked back from the door. "Public display of affection would be a real race with Miguel around." she said with a sarcastic smirk. "Could be an entertaining one, though, who knows?" she added pondering and left the room. 

_Miguel_. Zulema continued staring at her reflection sucking her teeth. She hasn't even thought about this. She did not push him away because she was almost sure that Maca will not stay. She didn't want to push him away anyway, because the man was useful. Even if he messed up things the last time. He worked at a company which shipped valuables, that was too much of a potential to just let go of. But what the hell will she do now with two useful, but tiring and occasionally clingy idiots orbiting her at the same time? 

.

Miguel appeared two weeks later with a pretty elaborated plan, trying to make up for the last time. Zulema was wondering how long he can pull this off without rising suspicion and being caught. 

"This sounds too risky." Maca stood up from the table to pour herself a glass of water. "I don't intend to go back to jail. You've been a regular guest there, but I guess you don't want that either." she blinked at Zulema.

It indeed sounded risky, and Maca was not in the mood for such a big fish, she was just getting back into the game. Zulema said that they don't have to do every robbery together, all the three of them, but this one needed more people. And it being Miguel's idea Maca couldn't help feeling like a third wheel. So she wasn't exactly enthusiastic about it. She kind of missed the time when it was only her and Zulema. They argued a lot more, but things were so much more... fun. It was like a game. This tasted like work. When she missed this life it wasn't this feeling she had in her mind. 

"We won't go back. We're better than that." Zulema said confidently. 

"Back to where?! A regular guest?" Miguel stared at Maca, then at Zulema with wide open eyes. 

Maca turned around to face him while drinking.

"Don't tell me you don't..." she started but she stopped mid-sentence and turned towards Zulema instead. "Please don't tell me that he doesn't know about _that."_ she said laughing.

Zulema was calmly playing with a lock of her hair. "Well, I don't know much about him from the past decades either... We haven't chatted that much." she shrugged. 

Maca shook her head with disbelief. "What does he think, who are you?" she laughed being genuinely amused. 

"Hey, I am here, and I am not an idiot." Miguel spoke up. "I know that she has had a darker past and I know that she has crossed the law before in many ways. I even know that she has killed people when it was inevitable, for self defence." 

Maca snorted. "Have you not even googled her?"

"Why would I have done that? She was in front of me." he spread his arms. 

A smirk appeared on Zulema's face, but she remained silent. 

"I am not even that surprised, who dares to do stuff like she does, probably gets caught at one point or another..." he shrugged. "I am more surprised about you." he pointed at Maca. 

"Well... I guess I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you." she said ironically. "But I was also a naive beginner at one point... I stole and I got caught." she shrugged. 

She felt a bit insulted. This sounded like Miguel just said to her that she is not as good as Zulema. Or what is even worse, downright useless. She never thought that she'll ever end up taking it as an insult if someone assumes that she hasn't been in jail. 

"Do you want us to enumerate all our bad deeds now?" Zulema turned towards Miguel. 

He stared at her, pondering for a moment. "No. Let's get back to the plan. If you still want to do it, of course..."

They did.

Miguel left in the early evening.

.

Zulema placed herself on the couch with a cup of tea and her legs up on the coffee table. "Did you really find it that amusing that there was one person around me who did not look at me like on a criminal psychopath?" she asked.

"Actually yeah... I knew you as the kind of person who'd rather wear a badge on her jacket saying. " _Zulema Zahir. Professional criminal. Look at me and remember my name!_ " she said laughing and sat down near her. 

Zulema made a grimace. 

”Wait... Are you mad at me that I brought it up?" Maca raised her eyebrows. "I didn't intend to-"

"Never mind." Zulema shrugged it off.

Maca bit her lip. She didn't even think that something like this could matter to Zulema. She didn't know what exactly she's been up to in the past half year, they were so caught up in her own problems.

"Sorry." she said quietly. 

"Oh come on, don't apologize! And don't look at me like that! I don't care." she said and too a sip from her tea.

"Were you trying to have a more normal life too?" Maca continued. ”Well, by normal I mean normal by your standards..."

"What?!" Zulema laughed. "No... It was just refreshing having someone around who sees me for who I am now, and not for what I did and doesn't constantly remind me of that either. But sooner or later he would have found out anyway. It doesn't matter." she turned towards Maca articulating the last couple of words telling her to drop the topic. 

Maca understood it. "Yeah, you were trying to have a more normal life... I get that. But just for you to know... I don't think you should undervalue the people who know what you did and still stick around either." she said and stood up.

"I don't undervalue you!" Zulema looked at the blonde frowning, being slightly annoyed. "But don't expect me now to be grateful for your presence! You're here because you want this life and with whom else could you have it? It's not like you had much of a choice here... Neither did I." 

Maca stared at her silently. "Yeah. Exactly..." she nodded. "You can eat the last fried cheese. I am going to sleep."

.

Miguel was laying in his bed, with his laptop on his lap and with Max, a giant schnauzer by his side. He yawned as he finished checking his mails.

It was tiring to do both his job and the work with Zulema. He wanted to keep his job because it was a good one, but if he thought about the fact that her partnership with Zulema would last in the long term, he started to feel tempted to give up on it. _But would that last?_ And does he really want Zulema's kind of life?

His gaze fell on the Google icon in the toolbar. He clicked on it. He typed Zulema's name into the search bar. His finger was on the enter button, but he hesitated pressing it. He pressed the backspace instead. He closed his laptop and went to sleep. 

.

The next day Miguel arrived punctually to their meeting. Maca didn't come back from shopping yet. 

"I'm surprised you came." Zulema said with a smirk when she opened the door.

"Why?" he frowned. 

"Haven't you googled me?" Zulema asked ironically, then seeing his face he stopped smirking. "Seriously... don't tell me you didn't..." she laughed. 

"No, I didn't. I am pretty sure you'd tell me the truth if I'd ask it, but I don't care." 

Zulema followed him with her gaze as he entered into the living room. "Don't do that."

"What?" Miguel looked at her as he put down his stuff and sat down by the table. 

"Don't trust me blindly." Zulema answered leaning against the cupboard. 

Miguel raised his brows. "Was who you appeared to be since we've known each other a complete lie?" 

"No." 

"Ok then. We're fine." he shrugged. 

Zulema rolled her eyes and sat down face to face with him. She didn't like it that she had the the feeling that he was trying to be merciful with her. "The last time I was locked up because-"

"I don't want to know!" Miguel interrupted her. 

Zulema laughed. "You're an idiot!" 

"Would it change anything? Is it of any importance regarding the stuff we do now?" 

Zulema shrugged. "Not that much..." 

"Then I don't care. It's not that I want to spare you from having to tell it _. I don't need to know._ "he said looking at her. 

Zulema swallowed. _You're a bigger idiot than I thought, but damn-_

Her thoughts were interrupted by Scorpius's barking as Maca entered the house with four paper bags full of grocery. 

"Hey, I'll put these in the fridge then I'm coming too!" she said and stepped into the kitchen.

"I was actually surprised that you still wanted me around after she decided to stay." Miguel said quietly when Maca disappeared.

"Why?" Zulema frowned. "Do you think if she's around, my whole life revolves around her? Please..." she laughed. 

"What is exactly between you two?" he asked directly. 

"I can't believe you actually care more about _that_ , than about my dark past!" Zulema laughed and gave him a judging look.

"I do. Because this is in the present and it could change things." he shrugged. "You two are living together." 

"Yeah, I have an annoying housemate now. Big deal..." Zulema shrugged. "That doesn't have to change anything." she said coldly. "If it's ok with you." she added firmly.

Miguel understood that he won't get an answer from her regarding this. The question now was whether he's still fine with not having the answers. 

But he didn't have to react because Maca stood down near them with a sigh. 

"We have to reorganize our shopping plans, Zulema. It's not fair that whenever you are doing it, you're buying bread and booze and chocolate bars, and when it's my turn we're suddenly out of everything and I have to carry home half of the shop!"

"I guess I don't eat as much as you do." the brunette shrugged.

Miguel stared at them. He knew Zulema well enough, and now it hit him that whatever was or wasn't going on between them, this blonde already shared something with Zulema what he probably never will, not even if he'd try. A home.

He chased away the thought. That has never even crossed his mind after all. Not until now. 

.

"Daniel called while I was out." Maca said pondering, sitting by the table sipping tea. "I've already been thinking that he'll never call. He said I can visit my daughter tomorrow."

"Will you?" Zulema straightened up to look at her after she took out the last shirt from the washing machine. 

"I'm just going to see her, that's all..." 

"And you think that's a good idea?" Zulema stared at her raising her eyebrows.

"I'm going. It's just a visit. Nothing more." Maca repeated. "And I might also tell him about my decision. But I have to see her, now that I have the chance."

Zulema nodded.

Maca apparently didn't want to continue talking about this. "Is Miguel not worried about us playing house?" she asked with a smirk. 

Zulema sighed. "I don't know. I don't care."

"You're lying." Maca said offhandedly, and bit into an apple. 

"Ok, then ignore the first part. He is. I don't care."

"You're still lying." Maca looked at her smiling. 

"Oh come on! Don't come with an I have feelings for him bullshit, because I swear I'll throw you into this washing machine!"

Maca smiled. "It's not a shame to have feelings... You care."

"It's not a shame. But I don't." Zulema grabbed the clothes and was about to put them on the dryer. 

"Don't be so obdurate... You care about me too... I'm not saying you're head over heels in love!" she laughed. "Or are you?" she teased her frowning.

Zulema threw the panties which were in her hands at the blonde. "With which one of you?"

"Is that even a question?" Maca raised her eyebrows. "I don't know... You tell me then." Maca threw the panties back at her.

Zulema sighed. "Jokes aside... Do you mind that we are working with him? I noticed that you're not very enthusiastic about our plans nowadays."

"I'm okay with that, mostly... but it used to be different." Maca shrugged. 

Zulema bit her lip. "He was here when you weren't." she said coldly after a while.

"I know. I'm not expecting you to send him away. I just sometimes miss our time in the trailer..." she stood up and stopped near Zulema in her way to the stairs, placing her hand on the brunette's arm. "I get that it's important to have someone around who cares about you and gives you the chance to start with a blank page. To be honest, I never thought you'd want that... But I am glad to see you happy to have it. Really." she squeezed her arm with a smile and went upstairs.

 _You're lying._ Zulema thought as she put the remaining clothes onto the dryer. She also told Maca, and to herself too, that she was happy to see her getting the normal life which she wanted when she was pregnant and decided to leave. Well... the truth is that she wasn't happy at all. 

"I miss the trailer sometimes too." she said when she heard Maca's footsteps from the top of the staircase. "The cleaning went faster!"

"I hate you." she heard Maca's neutral voice from above. It made her smile. 

The doorbell rang.

_Who the hell wants anything at this hour?_

Zulema opened the door and stepped out of the house and immediately regretted it.

There were two cops waiting on the street.

.


	8. Dead end

Zulema's first instinct was to run. To turn around, get back into the house, grab her gun, get out on the back door, and _run_. 

But something in her mind has overwritten this instinct of the cornered animal. After all she didn't even know why the cops came. They haven't been after her in the past year, not physically at least. Her name and face was surely still on the list of wanted people, but a lot of time has passed and it has probably faded into the past.

She put on a calm and slightly puzzled expression and approached the cops. "Good evening. Can I help you with something?"

"Yes, Zoe Vargas, right?" one of them asked.

Zulema was relieved when they used the fake name she used for buying this house. They weren't after _her_. They were also young enough to probably not remember her for her old reputation.

 _Amateurs_...

She nodded. 

"Do you know this man?" the other held up a picture. Zulema recognized Miguel on it. She concentrated on keeping her facial expressions under control. She also had to be very careful what she said. "We got the information that he was seen coming to this house quite often recently."

"Yes, I know him. He's a distant friend. What did the poor soul get himself into? I never expected cops to ask about him..." 

"When was the last time you saw him?" 

"This afternoon. He was here, he left around 5 pm." 

"Why was he here?" 

"Coffee? A chat?" Zulema shrugged. "Why? Is he all right?" 

"He's unreachable. And we should urgently reach him, so... Since you are his only acquaintance we could reach and also the last person who talked to him, could you come with us to the station to help with a bit of information?"

Zulema swallowed. _Fuck_. These two amateurs might not have recognized her, but someone at the police station surely would. 

"Really? None of his colleagues were available?" Zulema raised her eyebrows. "I don't know him that well..." She really didn't. _He's a thief. Clever, annoyingly sentimental, good in bed. Prefers whiskey over vodka and likes The Rollng Stones. Has a dog._ This was the stuff Zulema knew, and half of these were things they would not ask her about, and the other half were things she couldn't say. She really had to insist on the distant attribute regarding their relationship, otherwise she'd create a mess. 

"Well, we are not exactly seeking out his colleagues-"

"And his ex-wife and son live out of town, so." - the other interrupted him.

 _Son?!_ Zulema shook her head. 

"But why such a hurry?" she asked. "Look what time it is... Maybe he's on a date. And those can become prolonged with him..." she said with a smirk. One of the cops looked at her frowning. "I suppose..." she added shrugging.

"Do you know who is he dating?" 

"No. Seriously no one as far as I know. But he's a man..." Zulema rolled her eyes. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." she added blinking at them with a smile, when she saw their expressions.

_Idiots._

"All right... we got your point." the taller one sighed. "Still, it would be useful for you to come with us." 

"Sure..." Zulema sighed. "I'll go back to turn off the oven and grab a jacket, ok?" she pointed back at the house. "Do you want to come in?" she added offhandedly, seriously expecting them not to want to, since she was so kind to offer it to them herself. 

"No, it's all right, we'll wait here."

_Amateur idiots._

Zulema stepped back into the house, she wanted to shout, but she restrained herself. She quickly called Miguel instead, she thought he'll answer if it's her. _Pick it up you son of a bitch!_ He did. 

"They are after you!" she snapped.

"I know. I'm sorry. I was about to call you. Did they visit you already?" 

"They are in front of the fucking house!" 

"Don't confess anything. Tell them I'm just a guy you met. They are after me, not after you." 

"I know, shut up! I just wanted to know if you're ok."

"Yes, I am. I'm safe. For now..."

"Okay then. Stay there. If you end up in jail, I won't get you out. And if I end up in jail because of you, I'll kill you!" she said and ended the call. 

"Who was that at the door?" Maca asked her standing on the stairs. 

"I'm going to the police station. If I don't come back in three hours, get away from here." 

"What?! Why?!" Maca ran down the stairs and stared at her. "What's going on?" 

"They are looking for Miguel. I guess the company he's working at started to go after him. They just want to ask about him..."

"But you can't just walk into the police station! Have you lost your mind?!" Maca looked at her with disbelief. 

"If I run now that equals a confession. And I don't think I'm a suspect... yet."

Maca looked at the brunette without saying a word as she put her hair into a low bun. She didn't look like herself.

"How come you're not running?" Maca frowned.

"Where would I? To Morocco again to hide? What would I do there? Can I take this piggy pink coat of yours?" Zulema asked holding up the piece of clothing and looking at it with disgust. "It looks less like me from 10 meters..." 

Maca suddenly wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly. "If you end up in jail, I'll kill you." she said quietly.

"That will be a favour." Zulema answered giving her a smile as she unwrapped herself from the embrace and with that she turned around and left. 

.

Three and a half hours have passed and Zulema wasn't back. She wasn't answering her phone either. Maca nervously called Miguel. She had to leave it ringing ten times until he finally answered. 

"What?!" he asked. "It's not safe to call me."

"I don't care. Zulema went to the police station and hasn't come back. This is your fault! Get your annoying face out of your hiding place and make it right!" 

"What could I do?!" 

"Oh, I don't know... maybe help me to help her, if it didn't even cross your mind!" Maca said mockingly. 

"It did cross my mind, but I have no idea what I could do... I don't have as much experience in crap like this as you do!"

"Oh, please... I suddenly count as experienced?!"

"Cut the crap. I'll help if I can." 

"Great. Where are you? Let's meet somewhere." 

"Come to that small park near the river, I can be there in twenty minutes." 

"The one on the opposite side of that shitty laundry service?" Maca asked. 

"Yes."

"Lovely. I'll be there." 

Half an hour later they met in the park. 

"What do you want to do?" Miguel asked when he arrived face to face with the blonde.

"I have no fucking idea." 

"And you called me here to tell me that?!" he snapped.

"No." Maca said quietly. Then she slapped him. 

"Did you call me here to slap me?!" Miguel stared at her. 

"You could have called! You could have warned us, to leave that house or do something!"

"I was about to! I didn't think they will get there so fast! You're not the only one being concerned!"

Maca turned away from him and lit a cigarette. "I am really mad at you right now... I've worked together with Zulema for years, and we did never end up at a police station, not once, damn!" she blew out the smoke. "Well... once we did, but that was something else..." she added pondering.

Miguel sighed. He really wasn't in the mood, nor did he think that this was time to hear about their adventures. "You really don't have anything on your mind what we could do?"

Maca stood down on a bench rubbing her forehead. "Not yet... But I guess it's not that stressful if we're hiding together and not on our own..."

Miguel sat down near her. He lit a cigarette too. "You called me here to slap me AND to have my company? Aren't you a bit full of contradictions?"

"Yes, I am, I know..." Maca rolled her eyes.

"How long have you been in prison?" Miguel asked after a short silence. 

"A couple of years. Give or take. If we don't count my coma after my ride in the washing machine..." 

"What?!" Miguel turned towards her frowning. 

Maca calmly blew out the smoke again and stared at the perplexed man. 

"In jail anything can happen." she said dramatically. "I would have died if Zulema doesn't pull me out." 

"Were you friends already back then?" 

"No." Maca laughed. "Not at all... She just wanted to kill me herself." she said casually. 

"Why did she want to do that?" Miguel frowned. He was starting to lose track. The more he found out about the history of these two, the less sense it made.

"Because she promised me that, after I almost killed her myself." she shrugged. "And she takes her promises very seriously." she added blinking at the man.

"Well you're still alive." he said offhandedly. 

The blonde smirked. "I think she realized she'd miss me if she killed me..."

Miguel shook her head. Zulema always seemed to be a complicated woman but this now sounded straight on batshit crazy. 

"And why did you want to kill her?" 

"Let's not go back that far into the story..." Maca sighed. "We could then stay here until the sun rises... We both had our reasons. More or less." 

"And then how on earth did you end up working and living together?"

"I'm often asking that from myself too." Maca said with a sigh.

"She said she'll kill me if she ends up in jail because of me." Miguel said pondering after a while.

Maca raised her eyebrows. "Welcome to the club then. But as much as I hate saying this... let's hope that you'll get out of this alive."

. 

Zulema was sitting in the noisy waiting room. The amount of riff-raff who was walking around there made her nauseaous.

She had to wait around one hour until she got to talk for almost the same time with the cops again. Now she had to wait to sign some papers. One of the many reasons why she hated all the normal and legal stuff was also this. _The bureaucracy._ It ate up people's time. And the trees. And her nerves. Luckily no one recognized her until now.

It was almost 3 am. She noticed a coffee machine in the other corner of the room. She went there to buy one. When she grabbed the cup, and was about to step back to the bench she was sitting on before, a nearby door slammed open and a short, angry, old man stepped out through it. 

"I am fed up! I don't even know why I agreed to work here after all that time at a decent place... I am working with amateurs! I can't even trust you with a simple case!" the man was raging "I've drank four cups of coffee today, and I have to get another one to be able to correct your incompetence! I'm already having palpitations, you'll kill me one day! And all for what? Insignificant cases!" he whined as he headed towards the coffee machine. "I swear, sometimes I miss Zulema Zahir!"

His voice instantly sounded familiar to Zulema, but she couldn't process it fast enough to have the time and turn around or go for a bored walk on the corridor. So she locked eyes with the man heading towards her, and felt her own pulse rate elevating too.

Trying to get the upper hand in the situation at least as long as she could, she raised her chin and smiled at him.

"Did you really miss me, Castillo?" she asked quietly with a smirk, running her fingers over his tie. "I didn't expect to see you in such a stinky mouse hole. You're disappointing me..." she added mockingly.

.


	9. Mousetrap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I can't thank you enough for your feedback!! ♡
> 
> I have written one more (long) scene after the end of this chapter which I initially wanted to include. But it had a different mood and I also struggled finishing it (I am still not sure if I want to go into the direction I've written it), so I left it for next time. The good part of this is that this way the next time might come sooner, haha!

"Get your hands off me!" Zulema snapped angrily and pulled her arm out of Castillo's grasp after he closed the door of his office. "Look... you made me spill coffee on my coat, I've barely worn it..." she sighed. She arranged her hair and sat down on his sofa. 

"You've changed." the man said standing in the middle of the office staring at her. "You look..." 

"Too normal?" Zulema laughed. "Don't believe your eyes... The coat is not mine." she took it off and let down her hair. "Better?" she blinked at him grinning. 

Castillo shook her head.

"Can I smoke here?" Zulema asked randomly putting her legs up on the couch under herself.

"No." Castillo said firmly. "There are smoke detectors." he sat down too. "And what are _you_ doing in this stinky mouse hole as you put it? We are not dealing here with cases like yours. Did you fall that far down that you're into this kind of boring stuff?" 

"Nope. I'm doing good. I'm just a witness here." Zulema answered taking a sip from her remaining coffee. It tasted like like shit.

"Are you serious?" the man blinked at her.

"Yeah. I am just waiting for the paperwork. Is there any chance that I'll leave this place if I'm done with it?" she turned towards the man.

Castillo didn't answer her. "Do you know anything about Macarena?" 

"No. I haven't seen her since the jail. But she's probably living her boring life, with a boring job, a boring man, maybe a cheeky brat too, and is probably thinking that the time she spent in jail was the most interesting thing that has ever happened to her..." Zulema shrugged. 

"Cut the crap, Zulema!" he stepped near her. "She was spotted with you robbing a jewelry store last year."

"Oh, right... you know about that." she rolled her eyes. "I totally forgot that thing... It was a shame." she winced. 

"Half of my juniors have become a fan of your duo back then."

"Disgusting." Zulema said coldly. "You can have this coffee I don't like it." she said putting the cup down on a table.

Castillo leaned closer to her. "Is she still with you?" 

Zulema leaned even more closer to him. "Are you asking this as a cop or as the dubious father figure who for some reason cares about her?"

Castillo laughed. "Heavens... She's still with you..." he sighed, with palpable disappointment in his voice. "And apparently you also care about her... Who would have thought?" 

Zulema shrugged. "It's not very fruitful if you don't give a shit about your partner in crime. I tried that too. It gives you more headache than results." 

There was a knock on the door and one of the two young cops peeked into the office. 

"Oh, you are here? We were looking for you Mrs.Vargas! Here are the papers to sign. And this is the report you asked. Sorry that I forgot about it yesterday." he handed some papers to Castillo as well.

"Ms." Zulema corrected him as she took the papers. She blinked at Castillo, but he didn't say anything, so she signed them.

"Yeah, my apologies. Do you two know each other?" the young cop looked at Castillo. 

"Yeah... We've spent a long holiday on Ibiza together once." Castillo answered.

"And I hated it." Zulema said looking up with a playful grimace at the young man as she handed the papers back to him. "I wasn't able to have one single calm day by the beach without him being after me the whole time..."

"Oh, I see..." he said awkwardly. "Well, thanks for your patience. We are done with this. I'm sorry it took this long.... Have a good night!" he said and left the office. 

"He apologizes too much... Teach them some self-respect..." Zulema sighed and blinked at the clock on the wall. She's been away for almost four hours. She had to leave her stuff, including her phone in a box when she entered the place.

"Are we done too?" she turned towards Castillo. "Or did you miss me so much that you want me to stay the night?"

Castillo threw the papers onto his desk and sat down into his chair rubbing his forehead. 

"Your beloved Macarena is probably worried about why I'm not back home yet, so-"

"You're living together?!" Castillo stopped rubbing his head and looked at Zulema being alarmed. "Jeez... when did that girl start to make such bad decisions?" 

"Probably when she fell in love with her manipulative boss. Just a guess..." Zulema said ironically shrugging. "Don't look at me like that, I'm not her boss, you idiot!" she added seeing his reaction. "Heavens..." she sighed rolling her eyes.

Then she stood up and stepped to Castillo, placing her hands on his desk. "Anyway... Why were we in Ibiza? And how come that I am not in handcuffs yet?"

.

Maca and Miguel were still sitting on the bench in the park.

"What are we still doing here, Macarena?" Miguel asked staring into the darkness. 

"Waiting." Maca answered briefly.

"For what?" he asked on a weary tone.

"For something to happen. I don't know... I was on the run only once on my own and even then I went back." _Damn, I'm useless!_ she buried her face into her palms. 

"Went back where?" he looked at her. 

"To the jail. No, don't even ask..."

 _This blonde is a mess._ Miguel had no idea how Zulema could have ever ended up picking her to work with...

"Was it worth it?" Maca looked at him. "Throwing away your life?" 

Miguel didn't say anything for a while. "I don't know yet." he said finally.

Maca laughed. "And when will you know? When Zulema appears telling you how happy she is that she managed to get herself out of there on her own and runs into your arms? Come on... you can't be that stupid."

"I am not. But you sound like you're speaking out of experience." he said coldly. 

"Huh?" Maca frowned. "I never expected anything from Zulema!"

"Of course." Miguel shrugged

"Do you even have any idea what we're talking about?" Maca turned towards him impatiently. "You don't know me. You barely know her. You know nothing about us!" 

"I know less than I should, and more than I want." he said.

Maca shook her head laughing. "I don't know if you're dumb or just hopelessly in love." 

"I am neither. Stop insulting me." 

Maca's phone signalled a message.

"What the hell...?"

"What is it?" Miguel asked. She passed him the phone.

It was a message from Zulema.

 _"You can go home. I ran into an old friend and we went for a drink to catch up._ _Don't wait up._ _Feed Scorpius in the morning if I don't come back until then."_

"So she's fine?" Miguel handed the phone back to the blonde. 

"I doubt that..." Maca said pondering. "But let's go home."

"You want me to come too?" he raised his eyebrows. 

"As you wish... I don't care." Maca shrugged. "We have a hidden room in case they'd be coming to ask about you again."

"Hidden room?! What are you using that for?" he frowned. 

"For hiding... What else?" Maca rolled her eyes. "Are you coming or not?"

.

Castillo took Zulema's phone and put it into his pocket. "So now that you reassured your housemate that you're fine, can we talk like two responsible adults?"

"About what?" Zulema asked looking around in his office. Cold, grey, empty. No family pictures, nothing personal. The life of a senior inspector wasn't much different than one of a criminal. They also had to be alert, were afraid, worried about their loved ones, and always running.

"A deal." he said.

"A deal?!" Zulema laughed. "You're _offering_ me a deal? Shouldn't I be the one begging for it?"

"I want you to accept it. It will be better for both of us."

Zulema sighed. "What do you want?"

"I want you to help me with my bigger cases whenever I can use a bit of help. You have contacts. You can find out things."

"And what do I get in return? 10 years instead of 12?" she asked mockingly. 

"You can leave."

"What?!" Zulema snorted. "Why would you let me go? You used to be chasing me around the whole country!"

"I'm tired of it. I'm old... And you're just a reckless thief now." he said emphasizing the word _just_. 

"You don't know everything." Zulema said being slightly offended. 

"Either way... you're causing me, and to all of us... a lot less trouble this way. I'd better have you stealing shiny stuff than seeing you once again evading prison, leaving a long blood trail after yourself. And not yours. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for the greater good."

"Touché..." Zulema nodded. "Finally someone realized that. It took decades..."

"But you'll help me whenever and with whatever I need. No objections."

"Of course." Zulema smiled. "If I'll be fed up with you I can always denounce you that you started working together with a criminal instead of punishing her." she said offhandedly, examining her nails. 

Castillo grabbed her neck and made her look at him. "Don't toy around with me. This is a good deal. No one would offer you a better one."

"Then you're harassing an innocent witness!" Zulema said judgingly. 

He let go of her. "So... deal?"

"Deal." Zulema rolled her eyes. 

"Good." he handed her back her phone. "Don't cause too much trouble for Macarena." he said.

"I only cause her as much trouble as she wants to take." Zulema laughed.

"Then take care of her."

"She can take care of herself." Zulema looked at him scornfully. "Looks like I have a higher opinion of her than you do..."

"Get out of my sight. If I hear anything about you what I don't like, our deal is repealed."

"When did you hear anything about me what you liked?" Zulema asked mockingly.

"When I didn't hear anything." 

"I did not miss you." she looked at him pouting. Then she took Maca's coat on, leaving it to cover the length of her hair and stepped to the door.

"That colour suits you." Castillo said looking at the coat.

"Yeah. As much as our pinky promises do." she smirked. She was about to leave but she stopped in the door, thinking for a moment, then she looked back at him.

"I can already help you with a case." she said mischievously. 

"How come?" Castillo raised his eyebrows. 

"There's that Miguel Fernandez case. The one where the company he's working at reported him for theft. It wasn't him. It was me. Let's say that I blackmailed him with his family. Whitewash his name, the poor guy is decent and has a son. He'll end up scolded by his boss anyway, but he'll be able to live with that, but being wanted would ruin him. Not to mention the jail. Another unsolved case under my name sounds better than another random unsolved one by you, doesn't it?" she asked defiantly.

Castillo looked at her frowning. "Is he with you too? Or did you start giving a shit about the lives you ruin?"

"He's not with me. And if you help him I haven't ruined his life either." Zulema smirked.

"I'll see what I can do..." Castillo sighed.

Zulema nodded. "All the best, Castillo!"

She stepped out of the office and passed through the raff once again, knowing that in the end in Castillo's eyes she's just one of them herself. Yet she was not feeling like that at all. 

.


	10. The long way home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Equals or nothing

It was still dark when Zulema entered the house. Her gaze fell on the silhouette of Miguel sleeping on the couch in the living room. _Great..._ She silently put the coat on the hanger, and was about to go upstairs. 

"You're back?" Miguel sat up. "What happened?"

"Nothing." Zulema answered briefly from the bottom of the staircase.

"Is everything all right?"

"Yes."

"What took you so long then?" 

"I met a friend." she answered impatiently.

"Are you mad at me?"

"I'll be if you keep asking questions... I'm tired. What are you doing here in the first place?!" she asked nervously. 

She didn't come home prepared for having a conversation with him. She knew they needed to have one but right now she wasn't in the mood for it. She had an almost clear idea about how it will play out.

"Waiting for you?" Miguel spread his arms helplessly and remained silent.

Zulema closed her eyes, she took a deep breath and approached him. "How old is your son?"

"12. Why?" he looked at her frowning.

"Are you in good terms with him?"

"Yes. But I've rarely seen him in the past couple of years since the divorce."

"Do you miss him?"

"I can't ask whether you're ok, but you are interrogating me now about stuff I haven't even talked to you about?!" he snapped. "Yes, I do miss him."

Zulema nodded.

"Then you should fix your relationship with him, instead of paving your road towards the jail." 

"It's too late for that I guess."

"Maybe it's not. If anyone asks you, from now on you'll say that you did what you did because I forced you, for the safety of your family." Zulema said indifferently.

"What?!" Miguel frowned. "No!" 

"Yes. It doesn't really affect me in any way. And it's just half a lie. Don't throw your life away. You have a decent one." she was about to go back to the stairs. 

"Is this your way breaking up with me?" Miguel stared at her being perplexed.

"I can't do that. We've never been a thing." Zulema shrugged. "And you knew that."

Miguel stared at her being hurt. He knew, Zulema played with open cards, but still... 

"Is this because of the police coming after me or because you found out that I have a kid? You did not send Macarena away because of that. Yes, I know, I've spent the night talking with her!"

"That's different." Zulema sighed.

"Why?" he insisted.

 _Why, why? There are hundreds of reasons why..._ Zulema thought rolling her eyes. She bit her lip then she looked at him.

"Because she's not in love with me." she said coldly. "So she can make reasonable decisions. Well, relatively reasonable ones..." she added ironically.

"Are you sure about that? In your place I wouldn't be..." Miguel laughed. "But isn't this about something else?"

"What something else?" Zulema asked on a weary tone. 

"That _you're_ afraid of not being able to make reasonable decisions?" Miguel knew that he crossed a line, but at this point he didn't care. 

Zulema laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. I don't do the love thing."

"You're just a control freak." he shook his head. "You run away from anything what has the slightest influence on you!"

"Yes." Zulema nodded. "And that's how I survived the past decades. And now I'm going to sleep..."

Miguel grabbed her arm and pulled her towards himself. This was the first time that he was impatient with her. "Is this really what you want?" he asked, his face inches away from hers. "I'm certain." Zulema said with a bitter smile. Then Miguel kissed her. Zulema barely reciprocated it, but neither did she pull away. It was the last time after all.

Since the moment she betrayed Hanbal, she had no idea what love actually was. She was thinking she's not even capable of it. Now she was wondering what letting someone go, knowing that that's the best for them means?

She let Maca go, but she was glad when she came back even if it was painful for her. _That was selfish, that can't be love._ She was pushing Miguel away now, because she knew that she'd destroy him, but she also knew that she would be totally fine with him being gone. It's not like she'd miss him too much. So does that count as an act of love at all then? _No, most likely not. Probably neither of those does._

When she reached this conclusion, she suddenly kissed him back, passionately, pushing him down onto the couch.

"What is this arguing-" Maca appeared in the living room and turned up the light. "Oh. Sorry." she gasped in amazement. "I'll go back to sleep then... I'm... glad you're back." she added blinking at Zulema. 

"No. Stay!" Zulema sat up and reached a hand towards her. 

"Why?" Maca asked being perplexed. "Did you change your mind about the threesome?" she raised her eyebrows. 

"Oh, shut up..." Zulema rolled her eyes being fed up with both of them. "You can stay. He was leaving." 

Miguel turned towards her being puzzled. 

"Oh yes, it really did look like that..." Maca laughed. "What's the matter?" 

"Nothing." Miguel said. "I was indeed leaving." he stood up, grabbed his coat and headed towards the door.

"Don't forget, you'll tell the cops the story I told you." Zulema said seriously, without looking at him. "I already talked with them, if you say anything else, it will look like you are defending me. And that's a lot worse than a disagreement with your company. Don't be stupid. Barely anyone gets this chance, use it."

Now it was Maca's turn to look at Zulema being surprised. 

"Am I supposed to thank you now?!" he asked furiously. "For your kind help followed by you kicking me out?"

"You don't have to be grateful. You can do whatever you want." Zulema answered coldly. 

"No, I most certainly, can't." he said fimly.

"Don't make this more difficult for you than it is." Zulema blinked at him with a sharp gaze.

Miguel swallowed. This was Zulema building back up her cold, impenetrable walls. No matter what was behind them, once they were up, nothing could get past them if she didn't want to. He nodded.

"Ok. I won't. Goodbye then." he turned around and slammed the door after himself. 

Maca winced at the sound. Zulema just closed her eyes. 

"What the hell?!" Maca sat down near her. "What happened?"

"Nothing." Zulema said quietly. "Fortunately _nothing_ happened, but that was just pure luck. I'll tell you about that later... But I could have ended up in jail. You could have ended up in jail! He could have ended up in jail... Or we continue the stuff we do and one day he really wakes up with someone pointing a gun to the head of his son."

"You care about him. You are willing to carry his accusations, you never do that! You wouldn't do that for me!"

"Oh come on... I wouldn't have to!" Zulema snapped and stood up stepping to the fridge. _But if you were in his place I would have probably done it for you too. Or no... if you were in his place, you wouldn't have started working with me in the first place._ "You have your own list of accusations already. That can bear another one too. That's the difference. And you are used to being on run. Even if you struggle when you are alone. We all do."

Maca nodded, Zulema had a point. "But then you only sent him away because you see him as a liability..." she said. 

"And isn't that more than a fucking good enough reason to send him away?" Zulema laughed bitterly. "The way we live we can't allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Don't we have some left-overs from dinner? I am starving..." 

"I bought something strong yesterday if you need it." Maca said.

Zulema peeked beside the door of the fridge to look at her. "Why would I need it? It's barely 8 am..."

"No idea. Forget it..." Maca shrugged. "So is he gone for good?" she asked. 

"I guess..." Zulema slammed the door of the fridge. "Don't tell me you're sad about it. You never liked him..." she put the plates she grabbed out on the table. 

"Whatever..." Maca sighed. "But it's a good thing then that we don't see each other as a weakness." she said and approached the brunette. 

Zulema looked at her. Didn't they? Why didn't they? Because they started from such a bad place that at the beginning they didn't even care about each other? They never relied on each other, not when it came about personal things. They never expected anything from each other. And this always kept them cold headed and even if things blew up sometimes, in the big picture things were always balanced. Or because they were both already in the darkest corners of prison and didn't have to lose anything anymore? In this sense they were equals. Or the fact that there were really no feelings involved? After all those years it's impossible to think that there were no feelings involved, whatever those feelings were. But they've always felt free near each other. Even when they were stuck into that small trailer on a rainy day.

"In that case we'd both be totally alone in the world." Maca shook her head. 

That was it. On one hand they ended up working together because they didn't have anything else in their lives. But on the other hand, if something else appeared, they also remained the very last thing they were willing to give up. Even if they've struggled admitting that to themselves. 

"Yeah. That's a good thing." she said offhandedly. "You said you missed our days in the trailer?" Zulema asked looking up at her. 

"Forget it. I was just annoyed by our work..." Maca shrugged it off. 

"Too bad..." Zulema pouted.

"Why?" Maca frowned.

Zulema grabbed her arm and dragged her out to the backyard, then she jumped over the fence to the empty hillside.

Behind a couple of bushes there was their old home. 

"You said you've sold it!" Maca stared at it being surprised.

"Yeah... I say things..." Zulema answered as she opened the door of it. "It's a bit dusty, we have to clean it, but I think it's still usable."

Maca stepped in and looked around. Too many memories hit her at once.

"You missed it too." she smiled at Zulema. 

"Yes, I've told you... It was much easier to clean than the house and the garden. But it would have been unwise to live alone in it in the middle of nowhere..." she shrugged. 

Maca shook her head laughing. "You'll never admit it..."

"I just came back from the police station, wouldn't you spare me of confessions?"

"Ok, we can skip that." Maca said and pushed Zulema against the cupboard.

"What the hell are you doing? Everything is dusty here!" Zulema grabbed the hands which were still on her chest before Maca could have done anything else. "You've always been messy, but this is too much!"

"Less to clean later..." the blonde shrugged with a bright smile. "No?"

"Yeah?" Now Zulema pushed her back, strong enough to make Maca lose her balance and they both fell on the bed with a smaller cloud of dust around them. 

"Okay... I take it back." Maca caughed. "Maybe this is indeed a bad idea... Let me get up!"

But Zulema leaned above her, not letting her move.

"I missed the way you always end up admitting that I was right." she smirked. 

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, would you like to see more of Miguel or no?  
> I had in my mind to break them up like this, because Zulema both helping him this way and staying with him wouldn't really be Zulema imo, and I wanted her to help/care, so...  
> But I have no clear ideas left once again, so anything can happen.  
> (Initially I introduced him just to show that Zulema has moved on, but I grew to like him and him with Zulema along the way, so he stayed and tbh during these last chapters I was shipping him with Zulema more than Maca, oops!)  
> But he's my own fabrication, so I get it if you guys don't care that much. :P  
> .  
> This is the last chap for a while.  
> I have to write some stuff for work this weekend, so that will take my time


	11. Nostalgia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed writing Zurena in their early-trailer-days-dynamic. So I stuffed something like that (let's say Version 2.0) into this chapter. 🙃
> 
> And I wrote this in bits and pieces in the past days, so it feels like random ideas about a domestic life situation stitched together into one scene... I hope it's still enjoyable!
> 
> Also, check out my latest Zurena vid:  
> https://youtu.be/KCFluX2wM6A ❤

Maca spent the morning dusting off the trailer and finally unpacking some of the boxes from her room, then she decided to put something together for lunch. Zulema was sleeping. For Maca's disappointment she went to bed straight after they left the dust cloud behind. She didn't even tell her more about what happened at the police station and how she managed to solve things. She appeared around noon downstairs, leaning against the kitchen door with a big yawn. 

"Good morning!" Maca blinked at her. "You look... dashing." she said looking at her messy hair and sleepy eyes. The brunette was still wearing just the long, black heavy-metal T-shirt she slept in.

"Give me a break. I've barely slept for four hours..." she whined as she approached the table. "It barely ever happens that you wake up earlier than me, yet you don't hesitate making comments... What are you cooking?" she peeked into the bowl. "Don't tell me it's once again salad with grilled cheese... Can you cook anything else?"

Maca stared at her. "If you're grumpy, go back to sleep."

"I'm not grumpy. I'm fed up with vegetables." Zulema took a piece of cucumber Maca has just sliced and started chewing on it.

"Oh yes?" the blonde put down the knife and stared at her. "Will this continue to be like this? You having pretensions for fancy dishes while not having the patience to cook them, but complaining that what I cook is basic and boring?"

"You said you missed this." Zulema smirked. 

"Oh God..." Maca threw a towel at her. "If you are planning to use this against me, whenever I have a reasonable complaint, it won't work!" she shook her head seriously. 

"It works for making you more annoyed, and that's already a victory." Zulema said smiling as she poured herself coffee.

"You were less spiky while Miguel was around." Maca sighed. 

"Yeah. Because I had to divide my spikes between you two." Zulema shrugged.

She grabbed her cup and then making some dancing moves she stepped in front of the blonde. "But now that for your reassurance he isn't around anymore, all of that can be directed towards... _you_." she pouted, looking the blonde in the eye, her face inches away from Maca's. There was that annoying smirk on her face again which Maca hasn't seen recently. After all this time she still couldn't figure it out whether it was annoying or attractive. It still made her want to slap her and made her turned on at the same time. Then Zulema raised her cup, still looking at her, and took a sip of coffee. _Bitch_. Maca turned away from her rolling her eyes.

"You should have seen Castillo's face when he realized that we are living together!" Zulema laughed.

"Castillo?!" Maca looked at her with open mouth. "Will you finally tell me what happened?" 

"Nothing interesting." Zulema shrugged. "He offered me a deal. I became his informer."

"What?! And you were ok with _that_?" Maca frowned. 

"It's good to have a cop playing for our team." Zulema said calmly, lighting a cigarette. 

"You are playing for his team, Zulema. Not vice versa..." Maca pointed it out. 

"Well that depends on who comes up with the game." Zulema smirked and blew out the smoke. 

Maca stared at her, at this woman sitting there in her pyjamas, casually smoking, her chin up, eyes closed, lips curved into a smirk, probably being pleased by her own wittiness and being confident about sooner or later having any situation under control or anyone wrapped around her finger. Sometimes her whole way of being irked her. Sometimes it amazed her. But most of the time she made Maca feel safe and fear for her life at the same time. And she liked this feeling. It was familiar. It was fizzing, intense, and alive like that moment when you look down into the distance with the parachute on your back and then you jump. Risky, wild, fun, free! Attractive, addicting... And sometimes lethal. But you jump. Because you're a junkie. 

"You're crazy." she shook her head when she snapped out of her reverie.

"I'm just seeing the possibility in any situation." Zulema shrugged.

Maca always thought that their way of life and the things they do made her feel this way. Maybe it was. But Zulema was a living manifestation of this feeling. And if she loved the feeling...

"And what are you thinking about now?" Zulema asked seeing that now Maca was lost in thought. "This will take some time, you don't have to worry about it already..." 

"I don't worry." Maca shook her head.

"Good. Because if needed, you'll have the leading role in the play."

Maca thought she was past the stage of being addicted to Zulema. She had a phase. Two actually. Once when she got out of jail and was so bored with her life that she needed the adrenaline. Then around the time they started sleeping with each other and she realized that she was attracted to her in other ways too. But she popped that bubble. She put conscious effort into doing that, because she knew that it was stupid and she wanted to keep the door for her having a normal life and getting away from this craziness open. She did that sometimes hurting Zulema in the process of it. She didn't hesitate to remind her (and herself) about the fact that their relationship only exists because it's convenient and that it will go up in flames one day. They were both fine with keeping things "just sex" in between robberies, it was so much simpler. And it worked. She knew better than Miguel. And then she left. But now she was back. And Miguel was gone. Just like her illusions about having a normal life. And she felt the bubble forming around her once again. With no motivation to pop it this time.

"Maca?" she heard Zulema's voice. "You don't even react to the fact that I just told you that you should be the bait for us to manipulate Castillo if needed?"

"Huh? What?!" the blonde blinked at her. "I don't even know what I think about that... Look... Right now we don't need a cop to be on our side. Could we talk about it when it becomes more actual?"

"That might be too late." Zulema said seriously looking through the window. It started to rain, the drops were loudly hitting the window. A summer storm, just crashing down out of nowhere. "We have to be one step forward."

"Zulema..." Maca sighed. "Can't we have a day without problems to solve?" She put down the knife once again and stepped to her leaning against the dining table near her. "Get out of your head for a moment. And you know that I hate it if people smoke in the kitchen." she said angrily and grabbed the cigarette out from between the brunette's fingers and started smoking it herself. 

Zulema blinked at her. "You're cheeky. And a hypocrite..."

Maca threw the remaining part of the cigarette into the ashtray.

"Hey, you could have given that back to me! Smoke your own stuff if you're wasting it!" Zulema snapped. 

Maca turned back towards the brunette, slowly blowing the smoke into her face, leaning closer to her. "Enough of distractions." she said. Their lips almost touched, Zulema could directly inhale the smoke from her breath. 

She swallowed. They've been doing this for a long time, why did it feel different now? And the answer came to her as quickly as the question. Because this wasn't a marriage of convenience, as Maca has always put it anymore. This was a choice. And she realized it only now, that they've both made it. She was wondering whether Maca has realized it too. Zulema was hoping she didn't. 

"I... think I should go and dress up." she said carefully with a smile, trying to push Maca away and stand up. There it was once again, her instinct to run away. 

Maca stopped her putting a hand on her thigh. "Since when do we sugarcoat things? If you don't want it, say that directly, we've always been direct about stuff like this."

Zulema didn't say anything, she just bit her lip. Maca shrugged. "So, I guess dressing up would be just a waste of time." she said moving her hand upwards. "No?"

Zulema looked at her hand then back at her raising her eyebrows. "Since when are you so dominant?" 

"Since I'm starting to run out of patience." Maca said calmly. "Relax, not because you're driving me crazy..." she rolled her eyes. _You are, but I'd never admit that._ "Just because I haven't had much sex while I was pregnant, and that's been a while. And since I came back... well... the first time felt awkward because I insisted. And the second was you just trying to get my mind off things. Could we do it normally at last?"

Zulema brushed back her hair with her hand then she leaned closer to Maca without touching her in any way. "You're insisting now as well, in case you weren't aware of it." she whispered into her ear, then she pulled away and leaned back in the chair smiling. 

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Maca asked sharply.

"Seeing you craving me? Totally!" Zulema said with _that_ smirk on her face. 

"I'm not craving you!" Maca snapped.

"No, you're evidently not." Zulema said sarcastically. "What does normally mean to you anyway?" she asked mockingly. Then a grin appeared on her face. "Oh... Wait, I get it now! You actually _want_ all my spikes all for yourself!" she tilted her head as she looked at her, being amused.

"Oh come on... Get off your high horse! I don't care. You can do whatever you want..." Maca started to be fed up with her attitude. Zulema wasn't exactly wrong, but she didn't have to know that. Maca was ok with the way things were. Zulema was not holding her back from doing anything. So she couldn't hold her back either. She turned her back on her and was about to step away, but Zulema grabbed her arm. _Oh, the irony..._

"I know that I can." she heard her smug voice. Maca smiled to herself, then she blinked back at the brunette above her shoulder. Zulema stood up, hastily pulling her back towards herself in the process of it, their lips crashing. She pushed Maca up onto the table, neither of them wasting a moment to deepen the kiss.

Zulema wasn't running away from everything that had the slightest influence on her after all. _But this has nothing to do with love._ she thought. _Love is a weakness. This doesn't make us weak._ Just as weak as two galaxies colliding could be. Being pushed out of their normal form, both changed by the collision and stuck together forever. Maca could be right about their relationship going up in flames one day. But not in the sense she thought. What burns so intensely can't have a long life after all.

"We'll get ourselves killed one day." she said as Maca was kissing her way down her neck. "And not in the very distant future, you're aware of that, right?"

"Seriously?!" Maca whispered into her ear being annoyed. "When I stop ruining the moment, you start to do it?" she asked more loudly. "Do you really need drugs to stop thinking? Too bad I threw them all out..." she pulled away angrily from her. "Yes, I am fucking aware of that! Are you reassured? Can we go on?"

Then Zulema's phone started ringing.

"Don't you dare answering that." Maca put her hand on it before Zulema could and went for another kiss ignoring it. But the damned phone kept ringing. 

Zulema pushed her hand away reaching for her phone. "No one calls me for chit-chat."

"I can't believe it..." Maca sighed and leaned back on her elbows on the table, waiting. 

"Finally!" Castillo growled into the phone. "When I said anytime, I meant _anytime!"_

Zulema put him on speaker. "I won't apologize for having intimate moments, Castillo...." she sighed.

"Don't give me such details, please... I've sent you a mail with some things you can sniff after. Call me as soon as you find something. Oh, and give me Macarena's number. Since she's working with you, I want to talk to her too. I don't trust you. Who knows what twisted version you'll tell her about our deal. I guess I won't be disturbing her in such an inconvenient moment as you."

Maca laughed. 

"Actually..." Zulema blinked at the blonde with a mischievous grin. " _No!"_ Maca whispered shaking her head. "Actually... I'm positive that you are already bothering her more than me." Zulema said. Maca kicked her rolling her eyes. 

"What? How can you possibly...? Oh! No way...!" 

"Don't get a heart attack, old man... I don't want to kill you with too much information. What would that look like in my files?" Zulema sighed. "The point is that you can trust me. But she'll call you later. Have a good day!" 

Maca stared at Zulema as she put her phone down. "Was that necessary?" she asked laughing.

"He was already suspecting it. He would have realized it anyway." Zulema shrugged. "And he still has this image of the innocent girl who ended up among the bad guys about you... I had to shake up that nonsense. It was annoying. The only bad thing about this is that we didn't get to see his face..."

"I swear, I still hate you sometimes!" Maca shook her head, but she pulled Zulema back towards herself. "Are we still in the mood for this?" she asked hesitantly.

"You tell me..." Zulema answered. 

Maca looked at her and shook her head. "I can't stop thinking about Castillo thinking about us."

Zulema nodded. "Me neither. Later then..." She smiled at Maca and picked up her coffee cup to drink the rest of it. It was empty. 

"Uhm... why were you thinking about the possibility of us... getting ourselves killed?" Maca asked. "You never talk about that."

"I guess I was just checking if you still want to kill me." Zulema smirked.

"Cut the crap..." Maca said impatiently. 

"Right..." Zulema swallowed. "I was just thinking that I don't mind going out with a bang before I reach 50. But I'm not sure about you..." 

Maca stared at her with wide open eyes. "You're afraid that you'll get me killed? You're _actually_ worried about my safety?" she laughed.

"I'm not worried!" Zulema answered defensively. "I was just wondering what could be in your... messy mind!" 

"Ok... I'll buy that." Maca laughed. "Either way... thanks for the empathy." she smiled at her as she passed near her, still being surprised.

"I'm glad you're back." Zulema said quietly to her back. 

"What?" Maca looked back at her.

"I'm glad you're back." the brunette repeated it looking in her eyes. "Annoying you is fun. It was at the beginning and it is now." she shrugged. "But I want you to know that." She was smiling. It was not smug, it was not mocking. It was just a genuine smile.

"I'm glad I'm back too." Maca said smiling back at her. Then after a brief hesitation she hugged her.

And for a fraction of a second Zulema hugged her back. "Too much affection, blondie." she said seriously stepping away. "You're too huggy lately. We had a rule..."

"Yeah... Of course, the rule..." Maca rolled her eyes. "I thought we can throw it out with the old garbage from the trailer, sorry." she shrugged and looked at Zulema. She has crossed the line too, not just Miguel. The difference was that she was not the first one to do it. She just took a bigger step than Zulema did.

The brunette was silent. 

"A hug is just a hug." Maca laughed. "Don't panic, I don't want to go to dates with you." she rolled her eyes. "That would be absurd... But useful." she added pondering. "Think about it, you could eat your fancy dishes, and I wouldn't have to cook stuff you complain about. We have the money for it." she shrugged. 

"The rules stay, blondie. For our own good." Zulema said firmly. "It's not like we'd be restraining ourselves too much anyway." she added with a smirk. 

Maca nodded. She did have a point.

"And I don't mind a hug by now and then." Zulema added rolling her eyes.

Maca smiled and leaned against the cupboard. Zulema sat down to the table and started playing with her lighter. Them not always talking while being around each other usually meant a comfortable silence. But not now. This was awkward.

"Do you think enough time has passed to count as later?" Zulema asked suddenly on a serious tone. 

"Definitely!" Maca agreed being relieved. Then she turned her back on her an ran towards the staircase, looking back at the brunette only when she was midway up on it. 

Zulema shook her head, then she looked back at her. "Don't make _me_ run after you, blondie! You'll regret it..." 

.


	12. Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back! I wanted to post an update a couple of days ago, but I really struggled with writing lately.
> 
> One one hand because I have less time for writing, on the other hand because I was also pretty afraid of becoming repetitive. I still want to write about them, but I think I might have said all I had to say already...  
> So this *might* be the last update, at least for this fic. I haven't decided yet, we'll see...
> 
> But for now, here is another chapter! :)
> 
> PS: Apparently since I am posting more rarely, my chapters are longer. This could have normally been 2-3 chapters if I had the time to edit it earlier, but this way I decided to leave it as one.

"If I had known that this is your definition of normal, probably I wouldn't have called you boring for wanting a normal life." Zulema said with a content smile in the corner of her lips, laying on her back on the bed, holding a cigarette in her hand, looking at the ceiling.

"You still truly struggle with saying anything good without wrapping it into an insult..." Maca tilted her head to look at the brunette laying near her.

"Then ignore the wrapping paper." Zulema said blowing out the smoke. "You don't mind that I smoke in the bedroom, do you?" she asked ironically turning her head towards the blonde too.

"No. But would it make any difference if I would?" Maca rolled her eyes. 

"Yeah. Then I would go out to the balcony." Zulema said neutrally. "But we both know that you only mind it when you have some ulterior motives."

"Yeah... You're not wrong..." Maca said, and moved a bit closer to her. She was tempted to kiss the brunette's shoulder, but it seemed to be too much, so she decided not to. She sat up instead and laid back down placing her head on Zulema's belly, and before the brunette could have reacted in any way, she once again took the cigarette from her hand and inhaled from it.

Zulema raised her eyebrows. "What is this new habit of yours to smoke my stuff?"

"I haven't been smoking for nine months, and this is stronger than what I have, I have to compensate." Maca shrugged. It wasn't exactly true. She was doing it to create or prolong the intimacy and now also to drift Zulema's attention from the fact that she wanted to get closer. 

She was surprised when she felt the touch of the brunette's hand on her chest, her thumb gently running over her skin. For a moment. Then Zulema lifted her hand and roughly took the cigarrette back from the blonde.

Maca found this amusing. For someone who was insisting to keep things simple excluding the possibility of feelings being involved in any of this, most likely to keep the illusion of control, Zulema apparently didn't mind prolonging their allowed affectionate moments either. In her way. Maca actually didn't mind their rules either. They weren't the kind of people who'd do couple-like things together anyway. Well, except for this. And she saw the perks of Zulema's defence mechanisms, they weren't much different from hers after all. But Maca also liked stretching these limits, not necessarily to cross them, there was not much left to cross anyway, just to see Zulema's reactions.

"By the way, today will be three years since you showed up at my workplace with the idea to team up, did you know that?" she said after a while. 

"Yeah..." Zulema sighed. "I had to sign some ugly papers that day because of a client, so I remember the date... Awful day..." she shook her head making a grimace. Then she looked down at Maca with a hint of a smile. "But why? You want to celebrate it?"

"We don't have to." Maca said. ”I know that you're not a big fan of celebrations..." she answered neutrally and sat up. "In the first year we didn't celebrate anything. And last year we had a fight around this time so..."

Zulema was pondering for a moment, then she pulled Maca back closer to her, her lips were running over her cheek.

"I haven't eaten any Lady Fingers for years." the brunette whispered, when her lips reached her ear. Maca could feel the warmth of her breath on her skin.

"What?" the blonde was puzzled. "I'm certain that-"

"Baklava." Zulema said briefly before Maca could have continued, while suddenly pulling away from her.

"Oh." Maca nodded blankly feeling slightly stupid. Then she frowned. "You want to go on an anniversary date?" she laughed being taken by surprise. 

"Hell, no!" Zulema protested and put the cigarette into the ashtray. "I don't do dates. Who the hell goes on dates after more than two years of living together anyway? People more often get a divorce after that much time... Pathetic." she rolled her eyes. "But I want to eat some Lady Fingers." she said firmly and looked at Maca.

The blonde looked back at her, still slightly perplexed. "And... you're telling me this because you want me to accompany you on a... _not-_ date... for you to be able to eat that stuff?" she asked cautiously.

Zulema nodded. "Two people can sit together near a table without it being a date, no? But you don't have to come if you don't want to..." she shrugged. "You can bath Scorpius till I'm back, that would be helpful." she said seriously.

"I won't be bathing your dog, Zulema!" Maca snapped.

"I thought so." the brunette smirked as she placed her hands under her head, and contently closed her eyes.

Maca looked at her. Zulema was wearing almost no makeup, her hair was stuffed under her neck, making it look shorter. And for a moment she didn't see the housemate she's been living with in the past years, she saw the woman who stood in her way while she wanted to enter the cell she was assigned to on her first day in jail. The woman who made her life miserable back then. Just happier. Moments like this made the decision to leave a tiny bit easier when she had doubts about it half a year ago. Now it didn't make any difference. The past was in the past. But it occurred to Maca that Castillo must be thinking that she has completely lost her mind. Maybe she has. But her old mindset wasn't doing her much good either anyway. 

"You've worked with Castillo while you were paving your road out of jail, haven't you?" Maca asked.

"Yes, briefly." Zulema opened her eyes. "Why?"

"I was just thinking about how could he be remembering you... As the psycho I've left behind in jail or the Zulema who I met while we were both out." 

"What does it matter?" Zulema frowned. "I haven't changed that much. I've told you... The jail just brings out a different side of all of us." 

"You did change..." Maca said quietly. "We've all changed. Why do you insist on portraying yourself as... bad?"

"Well, I can't portray myself as good, can I?" Zulema laughed. "And I don't think people change, not radically at least. We learn, and we act differently in different situations, but in the end the essence of our being stays the same."

"And what is this... _essence_ of your being then?" Maca asked leaning back against the pillow.

Zulema smiled, then she leaned closer to her again, pushing aside a reckless lock of hair from Maca's face. For a brief moment Maca thought that she's going to kiss her and is going to say that " _It is love, you idiot, what else could it be?"_. What a stupid thought it was.

The brunette just shook her head and pulled back her hand. "I have no fucking idea. Probably the determination to keep my freedom and to get whatever I want at whatever cost." she shrugged and turned onto her back. "I'm destructive."

"You haven't been that destructive lately..." Maca said.

"Well... I _am_ free now." Zulema said. And there was a second part of this answer silently hanging in the air around them. She didn't say it out loud, but both of them heard it. Zulema was sure about that, because of the way Maca was smiling. 

Maca was smiling because as messed up as they seemed to be, things between them were perfect the way they were. They were the opposite of a marriage. Instead of tying their lives together, doing, or saying too much, because of their will to own each other, they were insisting to make the other feel free, despite their lives being tied together on almost every level already.

 _Fuck_. Zulema got up from the bed and started looking for something to wear. Maca was still looking at her, smiling.

"What?" the brunette asked being irritated. "Don't look at me like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like you're... in love with me!" Zulema said without looking at her, still being half into the wardrobe. "Actually..." she peeked out from behind the door of the wardrobe frowning at Maca. "Are you in love with me?" she asked casually. 

Maca felt as if she would have been slapped back into reality. _Who the hell asks that from anyone?!_

"What?!" she blinked at the brunette being puzzeld. This was not a question she wanted to answer. But of course, what was she expecting? Zulema said too much, and the most instinctive way to defend yourself is to attack. "Aren't you crossing a line here?"

"You said we've always been direct about stuff like this." Zulema shrugged. "We could settle this too, once and for all." 

Maca just stared at her with disbelief. _I didn't mean stuff like this!_ This was too direct, even coming from Zulema.

"What the hell do you want to hear? You are the one more obsessed with the rules. No matter if I say yes or no, it will put a stain on our relationship. That's what you want?!"

In that moment she hated Zulema. Right when Maca came to the conclusion that what they have is great the way it is, she throws in a question like this.

Zulema laughed. "I don't think a _'No.'_ would do much harm to us. Or are you implying that you think that I am in love with you and you don't want to hurt my feelings?" she continued still laughing. 

"I am not implying anything." Maca said losing her patience. "You are."

"Then come up with an answer which wouldn't stain anything." Zulema said smiling. There seemed to be some kind of genuine interest sparkling in her eyes. 

_What the hell do you want?!_ "Even if it's not true?" Maca frowned.

Zulema shrugged. "If you think you have to lie to not stain our relationship..."

"I'm not playing this game." Maca shook her head angrily. "I don't see the point of it..."

"Why?" Zulema finally found a blouse to wear and was fitting it to a pair of pants. "Why don't you see the point of it?" she asked on an indifferent tone blinking at the blonde. "I find it quite amusing."

Maca was even more angry with her than two minutes ago. "Why?" she stood up furiously. "Because what we have is good. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to ruin it."

Zulema nodded. "Good then." She was smiling. 

"Do you want me to ask the question from you too?!" Maca asked being irritated.

"I am not in love with you." Zulema said coldly throwing the clothes on the bed then she looked at her, still smiling.

 _You manipulative bitch! You've tricked me into saying too much as well, just to say this afterwards and regain the upper hand?!_ She fell into her trap, although she did see it coming. 

"You're saying that as if you had an idea about what love actually is..." Maca said mockingly.

The brunette looked at her with a piercing gaze, and Maca instantly regretted saying this. 

"I do have an idea about what it is." Zulema got into her blouse and threw back her hair. "The question is, do you?" she asked now mockingly blinking at the blonde. "You know... it's that co-dependent obsession which starts with that... warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest..." she said with a grimace "...which then slowly takes over your whole existence, and you find yourself doing one stupid thing after the other." She sighed as she put on her pants too. "And then thanks to one of those stupid things at one point it ends, and you are left with a painful, gaping hole in your soul and you are then questioning the point of your whole existence. It's like a mental disease in the end." Zulema shook her head, almost with disgust. "So no... I am certainly not in love with you." she said firmly. "And I just wanted to make sure that neither are you." she added coldly looking Maca in the eye.

"What you described is a version of it, it can be-"

"Most of the time it goes like this." Zulema interrupted her categorically. "Let's not play with our chances, ok?" 

She was serious. Too serious. 

Maca started laughing. "You're lecturing _me_ because of _your_ slip of the tongue?" she asked on a cheeky tone stepping in front of her. 

"There was no slip of the tongue. I didn't say anything-" Zulema started but Maca put her index finger on her lips, silencing her. 

"It's okay." Maca said being amused. "I'm not going to tease you about it. I'm not in love with you either after all..." she said shrugging and lowered her hand turning her back on her.

If this white lie was the condition of keeping things all right, she decided to roll with it. After all, how many people can say that they admitted to each other how much they value what they have by saying that they don't love each other? They were still a mess. But they were at least self-conscious about it, even if they tried to hide it.

"Is your _not-_ date invitation still available?" Maca looked back at her smirking. 

Zulema took a deep breath then she nodded. Probably internally cursing herself for having had come up with the idea of it in the first place.

* * *

"I can't believe we're actually at a public place together without the intention of robbing it..." Maca looked around in the restaurant.

"We've been in the town together, don't over-dramatize it..." Zulema said impatiently, she leaned against the wall, her legs crossed, resting an arm on the back of the chair she was sitting on while looking at the menu. Maca blinked at her. The brunette was wearing high-heeled ankle boots, leather pants, a long sleeved tight-fitting blouse with a weird black and red pattern which attracted one's glance, and her eyeliner was even more on point than usually.

"You should wear leather more often." Maca said looking back at the menu she was holding in her hand. "It suits you."

Zulema raised her eyebrows. "I'll keep that in mind." she said neutrally. "Jumpsuits suit you too." she added without looking at the blonde. "They can be taken off with one move, and we know that you don't like wasting much time." she turned the page of the menu. "Black is not exactly your colour though."

Maca kicked her leg under the table.

"Weren't you supposed to visit your daughter today?" Zulema asked.

"Daniel called this morning, he said today is not a good day after all. I have a feeling no day will be good enough for him..:" Maca sighed. 

"Maybe it's better this way." Zulema said quietly. 

"Maybe..." 

A waiter stepped near them. They made their ordersn then they stood in silence for a while. Zulema blinked in the direction of the door. For the tenth time probably in three minutes. 

"Are you expecting someone to appear?" Maca frowned.

"Nope." Zulema shook her head. "But I am low key stressed in social situations. Who knows who can pop up who would recognize me? You know... I hate that kind of small-talk." she grinned.

"Well, it was your idea to come here..."

"It's fine." Zulema smiled. She finally noticed the short, grizzled man entering the place. 

"Hey, waiter-boy, how long do we have to wait?" she asked loudly turning towards the counter. Most people, including old man who just entered looked judgingly in her direction. 

"And you're really putting an effort into remaining unnoticeable..." Maca shook her head.

"I'm hungry." Zulema said as if that would explain everything.

Maca winced when she heard the voice of a man behind her back, who wasn't the waiter. 

"What a pleasant surprise!" Castillo stepped near their table and sat down on an empty chair. "Macarena! I haven't heard from you in a long time..."

Maca smiled at him. "I was on a holiday."

"Uhum... You haven't called me." he continued and moved his gaze at Zulema. _Were you lying to me?_ His eyes asked. Although seeing the two of them together now made him uncertain about this assumption. 

"I said later. I don't think six hours necessarily count as later." Zulema said calmly. "Do you?" she looked at Maca.

"Nope." The blonde shook her head, trying to avoid eye contact with Zulema, she wouldn't have been able to not laugh. "It's relative though." she added seriously. "Sorry... I would have called in the morning." she looked at Castillo. "But we are all here now..."

"Yeah... uhm... So are you two a couple now?" he asked frowning, moving her gaze between the two woman. 

"No!" both of them said at the same time, being slightly revolted.

Castillo raised his brows. "Ok, I see... What are you doing here then?"

"An attempt to feed ourselves?" Zulema spread her arms. "But the service is pretty slow, I don't think we'll be coming back here very often..."

"The service is impeccable. You are being impatient." Castillo contradicted her.

"Anyway... Excuse me, I have to go to powder my nose." Zulema said with a grin and went towards the restroom leaving the two on their own. 

When she was far away enough Castillo turned towards the blonde. "What the hell, Macarena? Are you still working with her?"

"That's not your concern. And even if I would be, it would be self-sabotaging to confess that to you, wouldn't it?"

Castillo looked at her with disappointment in her eyes. "You've changed..." 

"I didn't. Not that much. Look.." Maca continued. "I am really grateful for everything what you did for me in the past-"

"But you never really lived with it. I never really understood why, but now I see it. In the end you always ran back to... her." Castillo sighed. 

Maca looked up at him silently. "Aren't you doing bad for yourself with not arresting two wanted people when you have them at arm's length?" Maca asked. 

Castillo rubbed her forehead. "I won't arrest you if I didn't arrest her. We made a deal, you know... Which is sort of official. Or will be... I'll include you in it."

Maca laughed shaking her head.

"Do you feel safe?" Castillo looked at her.

"Well... as safe as someone being on the run can feel..." Maca said.

"That's not what I meant. Do you feel safe with her?" he asked seriously.

Maca looked at him, being surprised by the question. "I don't think it's your duty to worry about me either. You're not my father." she said cautiously. 

"Yeah..." Castillo nodded. "You're right..."

"But yes." Maca said. "I do feel safe with her. She's not as bad as you think she is. She's not as bad as I thought she was. Or better said she's not as bad as she was. Ugh... don't make me describe it, please... She's all right. Mostly."

Castillo shook his head. "If there's one person who can tell me something like this, and I am going to believe it, that's you..."

Maca suddenly remembered what Zulema said to her in the morning about wanting to use Castillo and her having the leading role in making it work. And when she noticed the brunette approaching them with a smirk on her face she once again felt the urge to punch her in the face. But she restrained herself. 

"Ok... I am not disturbing you anymore." Castillo grabbed the doughnuts he bought and sat up. "Have a great evening." she said with a pale smile, nodded coldly towards Zulema and left.

When the door closed behind him Zulema turned towards Maca.

"Did you two have a nice chat?" she asked cheerfully. 

Maca reached for her purse, she left some cash on the table paying for the meal they haven't even tasted yet and stood up. "Get your stuff, we're leaving. I'm in no mood to have dinner with you. But we'll have a word." 

* * *

"Was all this a sham?!" Maca was raging in the pouring rain as they stepped out to the street. She was hurt, for a while she really believed that Zulema just wanted to celebrate their anniversary. "All of this for Castillo?! To make a good impression for him making him think that you are leading a normal life, to be able to manipulate him more easily?!"

"It was not a sham. But yes, it was also about him." Zulema made a grimace and stepped back under a balcony to be sheltered from the rain. She was prepared to be slapped but it didn't come to it. 

Maca stepped after her furiously. "How could you be so sure that I'll tell him what you want him to hear? Maybe I've told him that you're a dangerous asshole and you are using and manipulating me!"

"You didn't." Zulema said calmly. 

"Why are you so sure about that?" Maca snapped.

Zulema sighed. "Because I know you. And you know me. And as an extra point, it's also not true."

"Then what do you call this?!" Maca stared at her angrily. 

"Did you have to do or to say anything you didn't want to?" Zulema spread her arms. "You could have ran into him on the street and it would have been the same..."

Maca bit her lip. "How did you even know he'll be here?" she asked impatiently.

"I saw a paperbag with the logo of this place on his desk. I assumed he often comes here since it's very close to the police station. And he worked at night these days, so... The odds were in my favour."

"You should have told me!" Maca said with anger and disappointment in her voice.

"I was trying to!" the brunette spread her arms apologetically. "This morning. Don't tell me you don't even remember it... You didn't want to listen to me. You wanted to have sex instead." she rolled her eyes. "Priorities..."

"This is a very shitty excuse, Zulema!" Maca said seriously. 

"Well I wouldn't use the word shitty to describe it..." Zulema said being slightly offended. "And don't blame me for going for the sex with you, especially if you're insisting, instead of torturing my neurons to make you want to listen to me! I'm not that masochistic. And in the end... I think you being unaware of it just made it sound much more natural and believable. It's a win."

Maca grabbed her throat and pushed her against a wall.

"Well, well... So this is what it feels like when I do this?" Zulema smirked. "I actually enjoy this swap of roles, blondie. But just briefly." she said firmly. "Briefly, and only with you." she added with a mischievous smile and lifted her hand to caress Maca's face.

Maca ignored her move and tightened the grip on her throat. "Don't ever again dare to use me as a puppet in something without my consent, you understood?"

"I didn't mean to do that. As I said I was trying to talk to you." Zulema said calmly. "I didn't intend to use or manipulate you. I just didn't insist enough to cross-check with you..."

"Well next time try harder." Maca said.

"Well next time be less needy so that I can!" Zulema snapped. "But of course... You're right." she said rolling her eyes before the blonde could react. "My apologies... It will never happen again." she shook her head being theatrically ashamed. "Etcetera, etcetera. Are we all right?" 

Maca let go of her roughly. "You're not taking this seriously at all..." 

"Of course I'm not." Zulema laughed. "You're taking this so seriously that it covers it for both of us!" she sighed. "But I guess that's what makes us a good team. The balance. You're serious about this, I'm serious about other stuff."

Maca nodded. "Apologies accepted."

"I wasn't actually apologizing." Zulema laughed. "I don't think I have to. Just as much as you... Or less." 

"Could you at least not make it worse when I am being indulgent with you?!" Maca snapped.

"Choking me suddenly means being indulgent in your book?" Zulema laughed. "You're still surprising me..."

The blonde stared at her with a killer gaze.

Zulema closed her mouth still smiling and remained silent. 

"And what would we have done if he doesn't show up, huh?" Maca asked.

"Eaten our Lady Fingers?" Zulema shrugged. "Ended up kissing in the rain on this cobble stoned street? I don't know... We would have surely come up with something..." 

"But you're glad he showed up, aren't you?" Maca asked bitterly.

"Well... that was the plan." 

"And what would you call the alternative? The failure?!" Maca's voice was trembling. 

Zulema finally realized what was really bothering her. But Maca couldn't throw that directly into her face, not right after their earlier discussion. 

"No." she said quietly. "I think normal people would have called that a... celebration of an anniversary."

Maca stared at her with her mouth open. "So you flipped a coin? If it's heads you get to write your play for Castillo, if it's tails, you get a date with me?" 

"Not a date, I've made that clear. But yeah... pleasant mixed with useful. Why not? I like to be effective and I don't like to lose." Zulema said confidently. "And we could have had both if you don't storm out of there... But if you are still insisting on the juicy part..." Zulema looked up at the pouring rain. 

Maca let out a bitter laugh. "I am not going to kiss you. I am still pissed off."

"Okay. I won't be heartbroken because of that." Zulema said indifferently. Then she reached into her backpack and took out a smaller box wrapped into a purple wrapping paper. "Happy anniversary!" she said with a smile.

Maca stared at her with disbelief.

"Don't be so startled, it's not a ring." Zulema laughed. 

"You let me yell at you and jump at your throat for disrespecting our day, while you had a present behind your back?" Maca asked.

"Well, unlike you, I usually have the patience to listen to what you have to say." Zulema said stiffly. "But the thought of me disrespecting our day really bothered you more than the thought that I could have been indeed using you?" Zulema asked laughing. 

"Don't make me slap you." Maca looked at her tilting her head. "Both bothered me. But along the way I realized that one of them... that neither of them was... exactly true. Ugh... I hate you!" Maca shook her head. She couldn't be angry anymore. 

"So slapping me wouldn't be just." Zulema smiled. "But come on, open it! You might not like it... You can slap me then." she added with a smirk.

Maca opened the box. It had two folded plane tickets inside.

"Paris?" she raised her eyebrows. "You want us to go to Paris?" she asked laughing.

"Not for a romantic city break. It will be the heist of the century." Zulema said with a smug smile. "And you kept saying that you've never been there and you'd like to go, so... pleasant with the useful!" she added. "There will also be a concert of that band I've been annoying you with during that time, maybe I'll be able to get there too. You don't have to come, I know that you don't like them."

"Unbelievable..." Maca shook her head smiling. "And what are we stealing?" 

"I'll tell you more about it at home. We're in the middle of the street." 

"All right..." Maca reached into her pocket and took out an envelope. "I didn't come empty-handed either. It's not the heist of the century, but..." 

Zulema peeked into the envelope. "It's the party of the century." she finished the sentence laughing. "Are you actually willing to come and listen to this "noise" with me, to use your words?"

"I thought it's a reasonable price to pay to finally see Paris." Maca shrugged. 

"We're pretty selfishly synchronized..." Zulema said being surprised.

"Yeah, well that happens when you spend your time stuck with each other for years..." Actually Maca noticed that Zulema has booked a flight, so she looked up what will take place in the city during that time.

"Is this the moment when we are supposed to hug?" Zulema asked putting the envelope into her pocket

"If we're not breaking our rules with doing that openly on the street..." Maca sighed.

"Oh, come on..." Zulema stepped closer to the blonde and embraced her. _A hug is indeed just a hug..._ And lately she realized that it felt good. It reminded her that they were also friends. "Thank you." she said quietly. 

"Thank you too." Maca said wrapping her arms around her as well. 

They both knew that they weren't just thanking each other for the presents. They were thanking the years. The ones passed, and the ones to come. 

"Ok, let's go home." Zulema said when they unfolded themselves from the embrace. "Or do you want to stay? The baklava was just a reason for me to come here and not elsewhere."

"Home will be good." Maca said. She put the box she was still holding into her bag. Then before Zulema could have said anything, she grabbed her arm and pulled her with herself out of the shelter of the balcony into the pouring rain. "Since this was sort of on your to do list for this evening, why should we miss it?" she asked with a mischievous smile and benefiting from Zulema's momentary surprise, she kissed her. And she noticed just a fraction of a second of hesitation until Zulema kissed her back. She felt fingers running through her wet hair, and Maca found herself smiling, thinking that ironically, they've never acted more like an actual couple than now, when they made it clear that they are not one. This was not foreplay, this was just them kissing in the rain. Then Zulema pulled away. She must have been thinking the same. 

"Relax..." Maca said. "I only wanted this because it would have been a pity to waste the moment. And whatever similar to any warm or fuzzy feelings you might be feeling, is probably just the hatred we've been using as fuel becoming dizzy after such a long time..." she rolled her eyes. 

"I wasn't feeling anything warm or fuzzy." Zulema said stepping away from the blonde, back below the balcony. "I just feel cold and wet from being drenched. If I'll get a cold, it's your fault." she said sternly.

"The fact that you even thought that I could be in love with you makes you look annoyingly boastful..." Maca shook her head staring at her. "Look at yourself, you're insufferable... And I am a whiny and needy, annoying pain in the ass... We could never be in love with each other even if we tried." Maca said with conviction and with a hopeless expression on her face.

Zulema looked at her smiling. "I am actually surprised that you're willing to keep playing it this way." she said. 

"Playing? What are we playing again?" Maca looked at her questioningly. "Are you once again putting on a play without having had told me about it?" she asked with another mischievous smirk. "That will have consequences, I've just told you..."

"Oh, shut up!" Zulema was even more surprised that Maca was willing to play it to this extent. If she had any doubts about it until now, they vanished, she was now certain, that Maca was ok with what they had, no matter what label they were or weren't putting on it. And that made Zulema feel so at ease as she hasn't been feeling in a long time.

 _But that isn't love._ That was just the thrill of having someone near, wanting to share the ride. And she consciously ignored the possibility that even if there were no actual dates, nor too much random affection in the picture, despite all of their rules, the two could be one and the same thing.

* * *

The piece of doughnut Castillo has just bitten into fell out of his mouth. She put the rest of it on the board of his car and stared at the scenario taking place on the other side of the road, a couple of meters away from of him. 

When he was talking with Zulema on the phone he had serious doubts that she was telling him the truth. He was a cop, he believed in evidences. In the restaurant? Well that could have been anything. When they were arguing and Macarena grabbed Zulema's throat, his suspicion, that Zulema was lying to him seemed to be confirmed. But this? This was unmistakeable. He had no idea how two people can go through so many different attitudes towards each other in such a short time, but the conclusion was certain. He could picture the two of them having had ended up sleeping with each other. A lot of things happen in jail after all, why would it be different with two thieves on the run, being stuck together? But he never would have believed that he'll live to see those two being in love, kissing, and carefreely laughing in the rain on their way home.

He turned on the engine of the car and drove away. He has seen enough. He was now just wondering whether a relationship like theirs could end up burning the world around them to the ground, or will it end up with them burning themselves to ashes. He didn't really see any middle ground. And the responsability to make sure that the first version doesn't happen was in his hands.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really bad at buying presents. So it took me ages to come up with present ideas for them, lmao.  
> And I don't think I'll be making the Paris heist into a chapter. That might remain just a present in this one.


	13. Road trip | Part 1/2: Hippie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 🌼🌻🌼🌻🌼🌻🌼🌻🌼🌻🌼🌻🌼🌻

"This is not a road trip." Zulema said sitting on her baggage. "Nor us going to the nearby equivalent of Woodstock. We're doing this just because I have to accidentally meet that guy I'd rather not see again, to get some information out of him for Castillo. So no drugs, not too much alcohol, no flower power, no distractions. He's a dealer. And he's dangerous." 

She was ready to leave, Maca was still packing her stuff. The blonde let out a laugh as she threw a couple of T-shirts into her suitcase. "Of course, nothing we do is actually what we do..." she said quietly under her nose. 

"What did you say?" Zulema asked. 

"You're telling me that as if I'd be a reckless teenager..." Maca said more loudly as she pulled out all the the drawers. "Where are my fake IDs?" 

"Probably because sometimes you act like one... Including that you are packing in the last minute and that you leave your stuff scattered all around the place and you never find anything..."

Maca ignored her remark.

"Why is there a handcuff in your drawer?" she asked lifting up the shiny object from among the documents with a frown. 

"Guess..." Zulema said on a neutral tone.

"I really didn't think that you have a kink for handcuffs after all those years spent in them." Maca chuckled. "I thought I knew you..."

"I keep them for potential hostage situations." Zulema said coldly. "And even if I'd keep them for your version of their utility, I certainly wouldn't be the one wearing them." she added with a smirk as she looked at Maca. 

"As if you'd always be the one in control..." Maca sighed with a cheeky grin.

"Well, most of the time I am." Zulema nodded confidently then she raised an eyebrow. "But why are you so interested in them? Did they tickle your fantasies?" she laughed. "Do you want to spice things up?"

"No." Maca said and put them back in the drawer. "We don't need to do that, do we?"

"Nah... You're submissive enough even without them." Zulema shrugged.

Maca was about to say something but the coffee machine stopped, suddenly leaving them in complete silence. Zulema stepped into the kitchen to pour it into their vacuum flasks. 

Maca grabbed the handcuffs from the drawer and tucked them into her luggage between her clothes.

_We'll see about that, you control freak..._

.

"It's already too hot outside, and we have five hours left to drive." Maca whined sitting behind the steering wheel. "I'll get a sunburn before we arrive there..."

"Well we could have left earlier in the morning, had you finished packing your stuff yesterday..." Zulema was switching the radio channels looking for some music she'd approve of. "I'll drive on the second part of the road. You can take a nap in the cool of the trailer then." she added. '"If I fall asleep wake me up when you want me to take over the driving."

Maca blinked at her. "You're here now. You can get a sunburn too."

"Scorpions don't mind the hot weather." Zulema shrugged. "And I prefer traveling in the front seat than being in the back while you're taking me who knows where anyway." she added.

Maca snorted. "By the way... Are you sure that Scorpius will be all right alone at home?"

"It won't be his first time. We left plenty of food for him for two days. And there's also the river nearby. He can leave and come back anytime. Don't worry, he was a stray dog before, he'll survive."

"Aren't you afraid that he won't want to come back?"

"He did come back until now. And if he doesn't want to, why would I force him to stay? There's something uplifting in letting things go and seeing them return to you." she said with a hint of a smile. 

Maca blinked at her from the corner of her eye. "Did you just compare me to a dog?"

"I compared a dog to you, if it makes you feel better." Zulema said neutrally. "Finally, something good to listen to!" she exclaimed as she found a channel playing Queen's _Don't Stop Me Now_ and started singing along. 

Maca looked at her being amazed. She was used to Zulema humming melodies, but hearing her actually singing along to an upbeat hit song was something new.

"Eyes on the highway, chauffeur!" she smiled at Maca. "I said I don't mind going out with a bang, but I'd prefer it not be in a car crash." she pulled down the window, and leaned out on it, the wind catching into her hair.

* * *

"You really tried dressing up for the occasion." Maca said, looking at the brunette. She was wearing a simple black fringed shirt and knee-length black denim shorts. Her eye-shadow was darker than usually. Maca went for an orange, white and black, flowery-patterned, short jumpsuit.

"Stop judging my clothing choices!" the brunette snapped as she closed the door of the trailer.

"I meant it. You really tried." Maca laughed. 

"Gosh, that's a lot of people..." Zulema looked down into the valley where the festival took place. They settled down on a nearby hill, at a fifteen minutes walk from the event. 

"It will be fun, don't be such a lone wolf!" Maca laughed. 

"You can be a lone wolf in a crowd too. And it's not supposed to be fun." Zulema said. "We're here for work, not for partying, don't forget that."

"Yeah, sure." Maca nodded. "Where did your will to combine the useful with the pleasant disappear?"

"It doesn't always work." the brunette answered.

"Whatever..." Maca sighed. "Let's go, I want to buy a flower crown before anything else."

With that the blonde started walking downwards leaving the annoyed brunette behind.

 _I said no flower power..._ Zulema followed her rolling her eyes.

.

Half an hour later they were standing in a long row for Maca to buy herself a flower crown.

"Is this really necessary?" Zulema sighed impatiently. 

"Yes." Maca answered firmly. 

Zulema lit a cigarette. "I'll wait for you there under those trees in the shadow. You owe me for this." she said coldly and turned her back on the blonde.

She ran her gaze over the happy people walking around and a smile appeared on her face. She was one of them. Not twenty- or thirty-something anymore, what the most frequent age-group around there would be, but it didn't make much difference. A nostalgic feeling for her younger self took over her for a moment, a bittersweet one, as she recalled a series of happy memories, quickly followed by the weight of the wasted years spent in jail which followed them, just another reminder that she has lost _so much_ time. She shook her head, and brought her thoughts back into the present. 

After a shorter eternity Maca appeared with a daisy crown on her head and holding a sunflower one in her hand. 

"You couldn't decide?" Zulema laughed. 

"I could. This is for you." the blonde said cheerfully. 

"No way I'll be wearing that!" Zulema said categorically shaking her head.

"Put it on." Maca insisted. "How do you want to make your old friend believe that you came here and just accidentally ran into him if you don't even want to blend in?"

She placed it on the brunette's head who stood in front of her motionlessly and blinked up at the crown with an unimpressed and disgusted expression. 

"He'll think that I am on drugs if he sees me like this..." she said crustily. 

"The better." Maca shrugged. "At least you'll have a handy reason to approach him."

Zulema let out a grunt and fixed the crown on her head. "You owe me double for this." she said coldly. 

"We'll settle that." Maca laughed. "Come on, smile a bit, at least try acting like you're enjoying this!"

Zulema rolled her eyes, but then she smiled. A bit exaggerated, but it didn't look feigned. Maca had the impression that Zulema in fact was feigning the part that she wasn't enjoying this. 

"Better." she said smiling back at her. "And... how do you want us to find your old friend in this crowd?" Maca looked around. "Does the guy have a name, by the way?"

"Species like him have their spots. They only change them if they get caught. He was never caught." Zulema said. 

Maca frowned. "And you... know about that spot because...?" Maca asked being surprised. "Have you been on this festival before, Zulema?!" she looked at her sharply.

"Yeah..." the brunette sighed. "His name is Seth. He was Hanbal's friend actually, not exactly mine. They were like brothers... We've been here a couple of times together. He never really liked me though. I've never bought anything from him after all." Zulema added indifferently.

"Oh..." Maca swallowed. She didn't know how Zulema could be feeling right now. Her face didn't tell it.

"Don't worry, I'm fine." Zulema said seeing her expression. "I'm not a sentimental person, you know that. Memories don't affect me." she shrugged it off.

 _Yeah, you're definitely not a sentimental person._ Maca thought. _Just sentimental enough to buy me a polaroid camera for Christmas to take pictures because you thought we didn't have enough palpable memories._

"Does he know that you... had a hand in Hanbal's... death?" she asked cautiously. 

"Let's cross our fingers that he doesn't." Zulema sighed, then she threw away the cigarette stub.

Maca bit her lip. "You said he's dangerous. You never said that he could specifically be a danger to you." 

"Well that's the same thing." Zulema shrugged it off. 

"It isn't." Maca said firmly. "I'll talk to him." 

"What?!" Zulema looked at her. "No."

"Why? Do you think I can't handle something like this?" she looked at her questioningly. "You've always acted like the tougher one from among the two of us. Well I am not a fragile flower either!"

"Well you really don't look like one in those clothes and with that hideous thing on your head!" Zulema laughed maliciously.

Maca gave her a killer gaze. "Those are clothes and accessories, Zulema! And I remind you, I could handle you in jail, and after... I guess, I'll be able to handle him too."

"Hopefully with lesser success..." Zulema said sarcastically. "Jokes aside... Still no. I'll do it."

"We're not taking that risk, and I am not arguing about this, I'll talk to him. Just tell me more about what I should ask him about."

Zulema shook her head. "I shouldn't have even told you all this..."

.

The sun was already going down while Zulema was waiting for Maca to come back. The music was louder, the crowd denser, and her patience was running out. 

She headed towards the tent she directed Maca to. She noticed her blonde hair as she was leaning against a tree, talking to Seth. She stopped far away enough from them not to be noticed. After a while she saw the man grabbing Maca's wrist and shouting at her as he ran he ran her her hands over her side, probably looking for a gun or a microphone. _He's thinking, you're a cop... Damn, blondie, you asked too much!_ She approached them.

"I've told you to stay away from dealers or drugs, woman!" she snapped at Maca on an angry tone. "Hello, Seth! Long time no see!" She turned her gaze towards the man with a forced smile. "May I ask you to get your dirty hands off my girlfriend?"

"Zulema?" the man frowned. "What a pleasant surprise!" she continued ironically. "Your girlfriend?" he looked back at Maca being surprised. "Wow... I never imagined you with a woman. Especially not with such a... girly woman. The things you find out if you don't keep in touch with people..." he said with a laugh. "She was so curious that I was thinking she's a cop, but that excludes it then, I guess..." he said looking back at the brunette.

Zulema smiled. 

"My apologies, princess." he let go of Maca. "You can leave. With her around, you won't be buying much from me anyway. I've never met a criminal who is as much against drugs as this whore!" she said turning back towards Zulema and roughly grabbed her neck. "You got my best friend killed, you traitor!" he looked into Zulema's face. "I kept telling him that you were a bad idea and a bad influence, but he didn't listen..." 

Zulema looked back at him defiantly without blinking. "Because you are such a good influence." she laughed. "And you'll kill me now, or what?" she hissed.

"Maybe I should." he nodded.

"Stop this nonsense!" Maca snapped. 

"Stay out of it. This is none of your business, princess." Seth said.

"Well, I almost shot your friend once. He was lucky that I was a beginner and I missed. But I surely wouldn't have felt the guilt and regret what she felt if I don't miss."

Seth let go of Zulema and stepped back to Maca.

"You want me to kill you instead?" he asked. "Really? You are an intersting duo, I give you that... You might not be that vanilla as you seemed to be at first though..." he said on a mocking tone giving the blonde a once-over. "I was already thinking that the good old Zulema has given up her standards."

Zulema suddenly hit his head with her elbow and Seth fell on the ground. 

"Nice punch. Girlfriend, huh?" Maca looked at Zulema.

"Shut up. Be glad that he bought it. He'll be unconscious for a while. Let's get away from here." she grabbed Maca's arm and dragged her back towards the crowd. 

.

"Thank you." Maca said when they stopped jostling against the people and found a relatively comfortable and airy spot to stay. The last rays of the sun were painting the western sky into a blood-red and golden shade, the rest was almost dark already.

"You're welcome. But I guess I should thank you..." Zulema sighed. "Did you manage to get something out of him at least?"

"Yeah." 

Zulema nodded. "At least the meeting wasn't in vain..." She seemed to be troubled.

Maca looked at her pondering. "This meeting did affect you, didn't it?" she asked.

"I've told you, I'm fine..." Zulema grumbled. 

"Did you really love Hanbal?" Maca asked. "You can answer this one honestly, I'm genuinely curious."

"I don't know what 'really' means." Zulema said blankly. "But yes, I loved him." she said turning her gaze at Maca. "Is that reassuring or distressing for you?" she frowned. 

The blonde took a cigarette out of her pocket and lit it.

"Why would it be either?" Maca asked with a shrug. _It is both._

"Never mind... Is that weed you're smoking?" Zulema asked.

"Uh... Do you want one too?" Maca asked.

"Yes." Zulema nodded and held out her hand.

Maca looked at her being puzzled and handed her a cigarette. "Since when do you ask for weed from your own initiative?" she asked raising her eyebrows.

"We're at a fucking festival..." Zulema sighed as she blew out the smoke. "I have fucking sunflowers in my hair and there is music which is not that bad. The sun is shining, well... was, and we are free, and... I guess I shouldn't be that stiff." she shrugged. She did feel the buzz of the festival atmosphere, and she liked it. "We could actually enjoy this."

Maca kept looking at the brunette, trying to make sense of her actions. Zulema dragged Maca more towards the front into the heart of the crowd. She started dancing to the music, swaying during the low-tempo songs, jumping to the rhythm of the more energetic ones. After a while they were dancing together. It was not the first time, the only difference was that they weren't in the trailer. Once she pulled Maca closer to herself, wrapping her arms around her from behind. Maca put her hands on hers, turning half back to look at her.

"Didn't we have rules?" she asked.

Zulema shrugged. "I guess my vision got blurry from this stuff, I can't see them. We can live with the opportunity, at least until it lasts..." she smiled.

Maca stared at her with disbelief. This was Zulema willingly and completely letting down her walls, even if just for a while. And not for sex. And even though, since the moment Zulema made the very first step, a long time ago, Maca was the one stretching the limits, but now that there were none, she didn't want to be the one bursting into the other side. 

The band on the stage started playing a mid-tempo song, and Zulema twisted Maca around, out of her embrace, and continued dancing. Maca felt a slight disappointment. And she hated herself for it. After all they've been sleeping with each other, yet here she was, feeling offended that she did not kiss her. 

But then she did. And the daisies landed on the ground, they barely even heard the music anymore, they were in the middle of ten thousands of people, but in that moment all they perceived was each other, and it felt in the same like all the other times they've kissed and also entirely differently. It was led by a different intention.

"Don't overthink it, this is just the drug messing with my head." Zulema said when she pulled away.

"Of course." Maca smiled.

She didn't tell her that the stuff they were smoking was in fact a simple cigarette, just from a fancier brand which she bought along with the flower crowns, and there were no drugs, other than nicotine in Zulema's bloodstream which could be messing with her head. And ironically, she was the one being aware of that and not the brunette. She put her arms around her neck and placed her chin on her shoulder. 

"I have more of it back home, if you want to start smoking this more often." she said, being amused.

.

They had no idea how they got back to the trailer up to the hill. The crowd was flowing out of the valley, their legs were hurting, the bass was still rumbling in their heads and they might have been a tiny bit drunk. 

They both fell down on the bed.

"Is there something left on your 'Not to do' list for this weekend what we haven't done yet?" Maca laughed.

"Fuck you..." Zulema breathed the insult out quietly. 

Maca raised an eyebrow. "I don't remember that being on the list."

"Whatever you say... Who takes a shower first?" Zulema asked. 

"I am wasted. You can go..."

When Maca also stepped out of the tiny bathroom she found Zulema already laying on her bed, almost asleep. She opened her eyes when the blonde stepped towards the other bed. 

"Come here." she said. 

"Huh?" Maca looked at her. "Aren't you too tired for sex? I rarely say this, but right now-"

"Can't two people share a bed without necessarily fucking?" Zulema asked. 

Maca sat down near her. "Are you still high?" she laughed.

"Maybe." Zulema shrugged and moved to the other side of the bed to make place for Maca on it.

The blonde shook her head laughing and leaned down near her. 

She decided not to make witty comments, not to say anything at all, neither about the fact that she knew that Zulema was not high, nor about anything else, she just wanted to go with the flow. Zulema put an arm around her, pulling her closer. Maca closed her eyes, and almost fell asleep when the brunette broke the silence.

"Since when are you smoking that brand of cigarettes?" Zulema asked casually. "I used to smoke them, but I realized that they are just snobbish rubbish instead of being of actual quality and I gave up on them." she said yawning.

Maca opened her eyes. She swallowed, but she didn't move. This kind of turned the story upside down in her head. And the brunette's arms around her also started to feel a tiny bit differently. But she decided to play it cool this time.

"I bought it for the first time today. It was indeed shitty." she answered casually too, still in Zulema's embrace.

But the brunette let go of her and moved a bit farther away, smiling.

"What was the point of pretending that you believed that we are smoking weed?" Maca rolled her eyes.

"What was the point of you saying it was weed in the first place? I guess we just got used to pretending." Zulema shrugged. "Goodnight." she said putting her hands under the side of her head as she calmly closed her eyes.

Maca's sleepiness evaporated. _Was this Zulema wanting to change the direction of the game?_

* * *

Maca woke up alone in the bed. As usually, Zulema woke up earlier, the coffee was ready and the brunette nowhere to be seen.

She grabbed a cup of coffee and stepped out of the trailer. The morning was cold and grey. Zulema was sitting on the top of the hill, smoking and looking down into the valley. She sat down near her. 

"Too bad we came just for the last day of this festival." Maca said looking at the demolished scenes, the empty tents and the mess left on the ground. "This is quite depressing." she added. 

Zulema laughed. "I was thinking the same. Everything is ugly when it ends. And everything ends." she shrugged.

Maca had a feeling that both of them were asking the question whether their unrestrained affection from the day before was nothing more than the flower crowns scattered around the ground, nice in the moment, but already useless and forgotten.

"Is there a conclusion you've drawn from this?" Maca asked.

Zulema shrugged and blew out the smoke. "I wasn't trying to." she lied.

For a while they just sat in silence, comfortably.

"If I ever end up in jail again, don't spend your time getting me out of there." Zulema broke the silence after a while.

"What makes you think I'd do that?" Maca laughed.

"Nothing. I'm just saying."

Maca tilted her head as she looked at her. "Zulema... if you end up in jail ever again, I will most likely be rotting in there with you."

Zulema smiled.

"Then we'll either forge our plan to escape together or we can come up with a dramatic way to end our suffering with a bang in there." Maca continued.

Zulema raised an eyebrow. "I actually like the way you see that." 

"I thought you would." Maca answered contently. "Did you realize that we are making actual long-term plans?" she laughed.

"No." Zulema shook her head. "This was just checking our plan B-s."

"Yeah, whatever." Maca nodded. "What would have happened if last week when you asked me if I am in love with you, I would have said that I am?" Maca turned towards her after a while.

She wasn't even sure why she brought it up. After all last time she was the one annoyed by it. But the question kept popping up in her head.

"You didn't. And you wouldn't have." Zulema said calmly still staring into the distance.

Maca was wondering whether she should insist on the topic or whether they should let it go. They were good. Really good. But then, probably because she saw Zulema being so at ease the night before, she had a feeling that she couldn't ruin anything, and her reckless part won her over.

"I love you." she said on a neutral tone, without looking at the brunette.

"What?" Zulema turned towards her. 

"I said it." Maca shrugged. "You were wrong." 

"That doesn't count." Zulema made a grimace. "You only said it to prove that I was wrong and to make me answer your question." 

"Obviously." Maca said now calmly. "We've made it clear that we're not in love, once and for all, didn't we?" she added. 

"Why are you bringing this up?" Zulema frowned.

"I don't know... I guess because it's something what you really try to stay away from. And what will you be thinking about if I keep telling you not to think about flamingos? Flamingos. Maybe if we deny it long enough it will become our self-induced delusion..." 

Zulema laughed. "Now that would be absurd..."

She turned back towards the landscape. Maca didn't say anything else. 

Zulema understood why Maca kept thinking about what exactly the point of them still pretending was. After all they were both aware that they cared about each other. _But that doesn't equal being in love!_ Zulema really didn't think that what she was feeling was love, not in that sense. Nowadays she wanted to see themselves more like friends with benefits. The truth was, that she didn't want to be in love. With anyone. And as a paradox, especially not with people she cared about. She didn't think her way of loving was good enough. So she preferred to not call it that way at all. 

"But if you're really in love with me, you've just ruined a moment, are you aware of that?" she turned towards the blonde being amused. "You'll never have the chance to say that to me properly for the first time ever again..." she said mockingly and pouted with a feigned disappointment in her expression.

Maca shrugged. "Knowing ourselves, if we'd really be in love we'd never say that out loud, would we?"

Zulema frowned. _Was this Maca still playing their game or was she actually thinking that?_

"No. We certainly wouldn't." she shook her head, and silently continued smoking.

Maca looked at her smiling, then she couldn't keep herself from laughing.

"What now?" Zulema asked being irritated.

"Nothing..." Maca shook her head still smiling.

Then after a short while it occurred to the brunette what Maca found so amusing. This silly pretending game was Zulema's idea, but surprisingly, Maca was slowly beating her in her own game. She blew out the smoke and looked at her.

"I love you too..." she said rolling her eyes and with half a smirk, then she turned away from the blonde again shaking her head, and leaned back on the grass. _You've become a real sly, manipulative bitch too..._

Maca nodded contently and leaned down near her, cheek by cheek, facing the opposite direction.

_Or if we'd be in love, maybe we just wouldn't take words said out loud seriously at all in the first place. Because we wouldn't have to rely on them._

* * *


	14. Road trip | Part 2/2: Psycho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely feedback! 💜
> 
> I said that I didn't think that I'll go down this road again, but it looks like I did with these last two chapters.  
> I kind of wanted _The Final Red Line_ to make sense as a continuation for this fic. It kiiiind of still does, but not completely anymore, because I might have given too much of a closure for this arc in this one too.  
> So it's the same concept as in _TFRL_ , with a different/more detailed approach. :)  
> I guess this is my head-canon now!

"There's a nice little storm coming." Maca sat up on the grass and looked at the dark, heavy clouds at the horizon. "Should we drive through the storm or should we wait until it passes?" she glanced at the brunette laying near her.

"We're not in a hurry." Zulema said. A raindrop fell on her cheek. "But we should get inside..." She lazily stood up and headed towards the trailer leaving the blonde behind. 

She silently washed away their coffee cups, then she sat down on her bed with her legs under herself. "That was a cunning way to make me say what you wanted me to. Pretty impressing actually." she nodded approvingly.

"Thank you." Maca said being surprised. She didn't think they had anything else to say regarding this matter, but she was glad that Zulema at least broke the silence, which right now started to become awkward.

"But I hope you know that it was just-" Zulema continued, but Maca sat down near her and placed her index finger on her lips silencing her. 

"... bullshit. I know." the blonde smiled.

"Stop shushing me!" Zulema pushed her hand away. "You've picked up quite some annoying habits lately..."

"And apparently if we don't talk bullshit we are not talking at all." Maca said.

"Well that was enough bullshit for a day, don't you think?" Zulema asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, it probably was. But at least you realized that you don't always have everything under control." the blonde shrugged.

"I only let you win that round 'cause it was nicely played. You have no control over me." Zulema said firmly. "Those were just insignificant words, no big accomplishment." she added mockingly. 

Maca raised an eyebrow. "Are you now calling it impressing or irrelevant? You sound conflicted."

"Impressively irrelevant then, I guess..." Zulema shrugged with half a smile. "Anyway... I'll put something together for lunch." she said and was about to stand up, but Maca stopped her.

"Don't. We'll buy something along the way."

"You know that I hate fast food." Zulema looked at her. 

"We'll buy something else." Maca said grabbing her arm and pulling her back onto the bed.

Zulema sighed dramatically. "It was one thing that you didn't let me smoke, now you won't let me eat?" she raised an eyebrow but sat back down shaking her head.

Maca ran her lips along the brunette's jawline. "And you are telling me that you think that I have absolutely no control over you?" she asked. 

Zulema shrugged. "Just as much as I allow you to have." 

Maca laughed. "Well that's mutual. Otherwise it would be quite sick, wouldn't it? Not that this way it couldn't be sick..." she added pondering. "But I think we're doing ok, aren't we?" Meanwhile Maca slipped her hands under the brunette's hoodie, and took it off her. Then reached into the pocket of her jeans, and a moment later Zulema heard a click and she realized that she was handcuffed to the bed. 

"What the hell?! Were you carrying those around the whole time?!" she snapped. 

"Not the whole time." Maca smiled. "Just today."

Zulema looked at her angrily. "Take those off me! Now."

"What's the matter?" Maca laughed. "You said you actually enjoy this "change of roles". A term I don't exactly agree with, but that's beside the point right now." she added.

"You were choking me, I said that just to confuse you, because I know that stuff like this _always_ works on you." Zulema said mockingly. "So let me go. If you think I'm a control freak, imagine how frustrated I'll get if I don't have control over my own limbs." she said coldly and looked up at her restraints with a bored and totally unimpressed expression. 

Maca laughed. "Hadn't you given that almost same look to the sunflowers I put in your hair yesterday, maybe I would believe that you might not be enjoying this. But this way... nah." she shook her head with a sardonic smile. "Would you have the same reaction to an engagement ring?" she added abruptly frowning. 

"You'll let me go. _Now_." Zulema said firmly. "Or you'll regret it."

"Uh-uh." Maca shook her head. 

Zulema opened her mouth to say something again, but Maca once again silenced her placing her finger on her lips. _"Don't... stop me... now..."_ she started singing _"'...cause I'm having a good time..."_ she continued as she knelt above her, running her fingers down the brunette's chest and abdomen. She sang the verses further, leaning closer to her, her blonde locks tickling Zulema's skin. " _...I'm a racing car, passing by like Lady Gaga._ _I'm gonna go... go... go..."_ she leaned down placing kisses along the same line, then looked at Zulema playfully shaking her head. " _There's no stopping me!"_

Zulema was laughing. She forced a serious expression on her face. "Godiva, not Gaga. She was an English noble woman." she said.

"She could have been a Brazilian whore, I really couldn't care less..." Maca shook her head impatiently.

"That's general culture." Zulema said scornfully.

"Are you lecturing me even when I have you tied up?" Maca raised an eyebrow.

"I guess I'll be lecturing you especially then." Zulema nodded then she lifted one of her legs, a movement which made Maca catch her breath and bite her tongue to conceal her reaction. 

"Can't you stay still for a minute?" the blonde asked sternly. 

"You'll need more than a handcuff for that, sweetheart." Zulema smiled at her calmly. 

"Sweetheart? Now that's a first..." Maca nodded being amused. 

Zulema lifted her leg a bit more forcefully which made Maca fall forward, she used the opportunity, to kiss her, or better said to bite into the blonde's lips, who hissed as she pulled away from her. 

"You're crazy." Maca said half laughing, half annoyed. It's not like Zulema never let her do whatever she wanted, but this being handcuffed thing apparently made her want to remind the blonde who she's dealing with.

"And you like it." Zulema smirked. 

"I didn't expect you to bite after yesterday..." she said being annoyed, running a finger over her lips.

"Well, I didn't expect you to cuff me to a bed..." the brunette reproached.

"Touché." Maca nodded and made an attempt to stop the brunette from moving around but she freed her legs from under her and locked them around her waist, trapping Maca too. 

"You're aware that I won't let anyone put me on a leash." Zulema smiled at her patiently. "But I'm impressed that you actually had the guts to try. So I can pretend that I actually enjoy this if it really makes you happy." she said mockingly, tightening the squeeze of her legs around the blonde, just to let her know who actually is in control.

"Fuck you, Zulema!" Maca tried to shake her off herself, but without any success. She realized that she has lost this round. "No pretending here." she said firmly.

"Why? That can be fun too sometimes. But as you wish..." Zulema shrugged. 

"I hate you." Maca said looking into her face, almost resting her forehead against the brunette's. 

"I know." Zulema smiled contently, and leaned forward to kiss her, this time with less biting. "So if you're sure that you don't want any role play, you can get those things off me." she said then.

Maca was hesitating for a moment. Then she released her rolling her eyes. "But just because I am tired of playing make believe..."

"Of course." Zulema smiled, and the moment she was free to move, she pushed the blonde on her back and hovered over her pinning her to the bed. "Just admit it that you realized that you like me taking what I want more than the idea of me begging." she said mischievously. 

She wasn't wrong. If Maca was entirely honest with herself, Zulema being in charge turned her on more than seeing her being vulnerable. After all she wouldn't have ended up here, if she hadn't have had a soft spot for the beast in her. Seeing her vulnerable side contributed to other feelings. "Never." she said. 

Zulema shrugged. "I can live with that. We're past the stage of expecting confessions from each other anyway, aren't we?" she smirked and reached back to grab the handcuffs. "Do you think you'll need these?" she asked casually.

"Bitch!" Maca dug her nails into the hand which was pinning her wrists down. Zulema nodded. "I'll take that as a yes."

.

"Your turn." Zulema said confidently with a smirk as she removed the handcuffs from Maca's hand kissing her neck in the process of it. 

The blonde massaged her wrists and looked Zulema in the eye shaking her head. "No." she said with an insolent smile.

The brunette looked at her questioningly.

"You had your chance." Maca shrugged. "You didn't want to take it. And I'm not in the mood anymore." she pouted and turned away from her. "You like being able to do whatever you want most of all. I like getting whatever I want. I did. You'll have to wait." she looked back at her with a sly smirk. "And don't you dare grabbing my hair, because I'll slap you." she added as she stood up.

Zulema raised her eyebrows. She let out a sigh and leaned back resting her back against the wall, legs crossed, a hand carelessly placed on a pillow, the other spinning the handcuffs which she was still holding around her finger. Then she rolled her eyes. "Please." she said quietly. 

Maca turned back towards her. "Sorry? What did you say?"

"Please." Zulema repeated stiffly with a smirk, head slightly tilted. Only the meaning of the word uttered was requesting, the aura of her whole being was radiating a demand.

Maca shook her head laughing as she looked at her. "Try harder."

"I won't." Zulema said firmly. "That wouldn't be me. And you said you don't want any pretending here, so that's all you'll get. I respect your wishes." she smirked.

"Ok." Maca nodded. "You're the one who can lose more playing it like this." she added indifferently.

Zulema bit her lip. Then she jumped off the bed standing in Maca's way, blocking her way with her own body. "I'm not losing anything." Zulema laughed. "I could get as much sex as I want if I spend a night in a club, and those guys are more creative than you'll ever be." 

Maca laughed in her face. "You won't make me do what you want by insulting me and forcing me to prove you wrong!"

"That's funny." Zulema laughed. "Because you already did something like that. Barely an hour ago."

Maca clenched her jaw. "That doesn't change anything. Still no." she said then with a smile. 

"Are you still curious what would have happened if you say that last week?" Zulema asked cheerfully.

Ironically, Maca was the first to start losing her patience. She looked at her questioningly. "What?" she rolled her eyes. 

"Nothing." Zulema said with a coy smile. "Nothing would have changed."

Maca swallowed. "Is this another way to try manipulating me to give in?" she asked with a bitter smile. 

"Maybe." Zulema smiled back at her. "Maybe not. Who knows..."

"Well... I didn't actually say anything then, so it doesn't matter, does it?" Maca said with another cheeky smile.

Zulema sucked her teeth angrily. 

"But it's good to know that nothing would have changed." Maca added smiling and she caressed Zulema's chin, as she made an attempt to step away, but Zulema still didn't let her. 

"Let's finish this or I swear, I won't be touching you ever again until you'll be begging me on your knees." Zulema whispered resolutely into her ear in one breath and slowly directed her back towards the bed. 

"Now that does sound like you." Maca nodded laughing and didn't oppose when Zulema pushed her down onto the bed, the brunette ending up being on top of her once again. 

"You like playing it haughty sometimes, but you don't actually want to see me begging." she smirked. Then she rolled over, letting Maca be on top. "I meant it when I said that nothing would have changed." she said more seriously.

"I know." Maca smiled back at her, moving a black lock of hair away from Zulema's face, caressing her cheek with the motion. "I've known for a while."

* * *

When the storm passed they climbed up to the top of the trailer to give a last look to the landscape and to breath some fresh air before hitting the road.

"We could go hiking one day." Zulema said. "I haven't climbed a mountain for decades..."

"I don't think I have proper boots for it." Maca laughed bitterly.

"Well, you have plenty of money to buy them..." Zulema shrugged.

"And if I'll break my neck, it will be your fault." the blonde added.

"Very funny..." Zulema rolled her eyes. "Ok, I got it. You don't want to go hiking." 

"We can go." Maca said. "But we should start with something more... flat." 

"Of course. I'll try finding you a flat mountain." Zulema nodded seriously. Maca laughed stepping behind her and placing her chin on the brunette's shoulder.

"Get down from here. Now!" Zulema said nervously when she spotted a man approaching them. 

"What?" Maca frowned. 

"Move!" Zulema shouted at her, but in that moment someone shot a gun, the bullet flying just inches past Maca's head. She lost her balance from the shock, and fell off the top of the trailer. Zulema quickly climbed down after her. "Maca!" she shouted at her, shaking her shoulder, but the blonde was unconscious. She wanted to get inside to get her gun, but it was too late. 

"Sorry, I was aiming at you. For a start." Seth said as he stepped near them.

"You asshole!" Zulema clenched her jaw looking up at him, then she suddenly jumped up and threw herself at the man, spreading out his arm he was holding the gun with. It went off, firing an aimless shot into the air. Seth threw the gun away, just to keep it far from the brunette. After a short grapple he ended up with Zulema sitting on his chest, her fingers wrapped around his neck. "If she's hurt, I'll kill you! And if she doesn't wake up, I'll..."

"You'll what?" Seth laughed. "You'll kill me twice?"

Zulema let go of him with one hand, but just to punch him in the face. 

"Maca?" she blinked in the direction of the blonde. "Give a sign of life, damn it!"

Seth laughed. Zulema tightened the grip on his neck.

"No. You know what? I changed my mind. I'll kill you either way. With one cockroach less in the world." she shrugged. "I bet many parents would be grateful for me for getting rid of the reason why their perfect teenage kids stepped on the wrong track..."

Maca vaguely was aware what was going on near her, but she was too dizzy to be able to react. She pulled herself together to utter a sentence. 

"Zulema... I'm fine. Let him go!" 

Zulema looked at her being relieved. "Why would I? He wanted to kill us!" 

"Yeah... Because he's just a desperate motherfucker who has lost probably the only person he cared about, and he just wants revenge." Maca answered choosing her words carefully and slowly stepped near Zulema, picking up Seth's gun, and kneeling down near them. "I'm alive." she said touching Zulema's face making her look at her. "We're both alive." 

Zulema bit the inside of her lip, being frustrated. The truth was that she would have gladly gotten rid of him once and for all. But she let Maca pull her away from him. She didn't waste the opportunity to kick into him once again and o spit into his direction before being dragged away from him though.

Maca pointed the gun at him. "Get away from here." 

Seth shook his head and wiped away the blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. "I have no idea what you see in her, princess, but I am sure as hell, that she doesn't deserve you." 

"And who do you think you are that you could know what anyone deserves?" Maca asked scornfully. 

'I've known her earlier than you did." Seth said bitterly.

"Well I know her now. And I know her better." Maca answered defiantly. 

"I hope you won't end up fighting over which one of you had a bigger piece of me." Zulema rolled her eyes. 

"Get out of here." Maca said impatiently. "I might not kill people as easily as she does but it doesn't mean that I wouldn't. I'll count until ten, if I don't see you running down the hill when I am done, I'll shoot you."

"You wouldn't." Seth laughed. 

"She would." Zulema warned him. "She has already killed someone like this once."

Maca took a step in his direction, still pointing the gun at him. "One." 

Seth shook his head with disbelief. "Pray that our roads won't cross ever again." he said looking at Zulema. "You too, princess."

"And you too." Zulema said. "If it wouldn't be for her you'd be dead already." 

"Two." 

Seth turned around and started walking down the hill. When he was far enough Maca lowered the gun and turned back towards Zulema. She sat down on the ground near her. "Why the hell does he hate you so much?" 

"I've told you already..." Zulema sighed. 

"I have a feeling that there's more to it." Maca insisted. "What were you like back then?"

"More or less the same I am now..." Zulema shrugged. "Just younger, less proficient, with less blood on my hands, a bit sad and rather damaged, with less effective coping mechanisms, but I hid it well under vim and vigor. A bit like you actually." she added frowning. "No, scratch that, it doesn't make any sense." she shook her head.

Maca laughed, but she didn't get hung up on her words. "So what happened with Seth?" she asked calmly.

Zulema rolled her eyes. "We had a short affair." she said briefly. "I didn't know he was Hanbal's friend back then yet. If I had known, I wouldn't have done it, I guess. But Seth soon found out that I was actually in a relationship with his best friend... well, sort of..." 

"Sort of?!" Maca raised her eyebrows. 

"Why are you so shocked?" Zulema laughed being genuinely surprised. "He was a young, almost inexperienced boy, do you think I fell in love with him instantly? He was just reckless and daring, longing for adventure and I could offer him the adrenaline he needed. And I needed a partner in crime. Well, things happened... And it was fun. But we weren't actually a real couple until later on." There was a bittersweet smile on Zulema's face which made Maca want to hug her, but she didn't find the moment appropriate. "Don't tell me you can't imagine what I could be talking about..." she said mockingly looking at the blonde. "You do understand very well what I am talking about. Hanbal also understood. Well, Seth didn't. I was the worst possible girlfriend for his brother. And the worst part is that he wasn't exactly wrong. I got him killed after all." she added bitterly.

Maca swallowed. There was a pattern there. Reassuring and distressing at the same time. 

"Don't be troubled." Zulema smiled at her seeing her expression. "I've told you that I don't want you to get me out of jail if I end up there again." she said and she gave Maca a clumsy kiss on the top of her head before she stood up and walked away from her, rubbing her face and cursing herself for being this honest. 

Maca stpped after her and wrapped her into an embrace. "And I've told you that there's no way I could be free if you'd be in jail, weren't you listening?!"

"I was." Zulema said and placed a hand on the back of Maca's head. "But I was afraid to believe that."

"Then believe that we'll never even have to go near a jail again. Believe that everything will be alright!" Maca said. 

"I can do that." Zulema said with a tired smile.

* * *

Maca was once again behind the steering wheel. They agreed to swap the portions of the road they've been driving on their way here. Zulema looked at her being worried. "Are you sure you don't want me to drive the whole way? Is your leg all right? Is you head all right?"

"I'm fine, Zulema!" Maca answered. "I could ask the same from you, look at yourself, you're practically still bleeding!"

The brunette blinked into the mirror, there was indeed still a bit of blood leaking from the wound under her eye. "That's a scratch... You fell from two meters!"

"I'm fine." Maca looked at her smiling. "Relax, if I don't want to do something, I'll surely tell you." she laughed. 

"Ok..." Zulema sighed. She was holding her phone in her hand. She wanted to call Castillo, but when Miguel's name popped up in her list she realized that she still didn't even know if he was all right. Not because it never crossed her mind, she just never asked. And this encounter with Seth made her see the importance of the fact that someone was actually willing to give her a chance without wanting to crucify her for all of her past mistakes. She was tempted to call him. But she didn't. She called Castillo instead.

"What?" the man snorted into the phone.

"Good afternoon for you too." Zulema said ironically. "I just called to say that we got the information you wanted for case number 3. But if we'll finally have that official deal ready we will add another paragraph to it. I am willing to help you, but we're not going to risk our lives for _anything or anytime._ Ok?"

"We'll talk about it when the time comes." Castillo answered.

"Well keep that in mind. And a question... About that case I talked you about. Did you manage to wash the guy's name clean?"

"Yes. He's fine and safe. But why do you care so much?"

"I just owed him... a chance. Thank you." she said coldly and ended the call.

"Was that about Miguel?" Maca blinked at her. 

"Yes." 

"You did feel something for him, if you still care..." Maca smiled. "I knew it!"

"I didn't." Zulema said. "Not like that. I felt some kind of gratitude, I guess... And lust." she added pondering. "But that was it. But you keep asking me about stuff like this yet you never say anything about your past relationships. It's not fair."

"Well I didn't have many successful ones... Most of the time I had a crush on people and I've mistaken it for love. Including my stupid boss who made me end up in jail."

"Well, I like that guy." Zulema said staring out the window.

"What?!" Maca frowned.

"If it's not for him, you never get to meet me." Zulema looked back at her with an annoyingly charming and smug smile.

Maca laughed. "Now that was selfish..." she said shaking her head.

"But true." Zulema shrugged. "What about Fabio?"

"Crush."

"I thought that was more serious." Zulema looked at her being surprised. "Oh well... I didn't have a crush on anyone since I was 15. And how did you realize that those were only crushes?" Zulema asked with a smirk.

"When neither of them lasted more than a year." Maca answered casually.

Zulema nodded contently.

"That Hierro for you?" Maca turned towards the brunette.

Zulema let out a bitter laugh. "Hate. And sex. But don't get the wrong idea... That was even more problematic than us at the beginning, trust me..." she said shaking her head. "Rizos?"

"You'd call it gratitude, I guess. Also friendship. And lust eventually... But most importantly, she was a ray of sunshine in the darkness _you'_ ve inflicted on me."

"Good to know." Zulema nodded coldly.

"I didn't mean to make that sound as a reproach." she added seeing Zulema's expression. "But that's what she was to me." 

"It's ok." Zulema nodded. "I don't think there's anyone else we could ask about..." she sighed. "Thank God..."

Maca turned towards her with a sly smirk. "Really? There's no one else you can think about?" Maca asked now actually giving the brunette a reproachful look. 

Zulema bit her lip, then she put on her sunglasses and turned towards the landscape. "Don't you dare asking me _that_." she said seriously. "I won't be saying it again."

"That's ok." Maca laughed. _You just did._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a pretty clear idea for an ending for this fic already. (It even surprised me that I actually thought about going there with it...) That would take place with a jump in time though, so it could still leave place for a possible continuation up to that point. A fact which, once again, left me thinking whether I really want to end this or not yet, lol.  
> Or I'll end up writing this in a more confusing way than the Star Wars series is done, haha.  
> As usually... I am annoying, I know.  
> So I am not saying anything for sure. Except that there will be at least one more chapter. :)


	15. The earthquake (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this _is_ the last chapter for this fic. I'm sorry! (More about this in the notes at the end.)  
> I wasn't sure at all about ending it this way, if you've read my earlier notes you'll realize along the way why, but they became so... determined and reckless, that I didn't even have much say in the matter. They wanted this, not me. 🤷♀️😬😋

_One year later_

Zulema woke up to the sound of Maca closing the door of the wardrobe as she was dressing up. "Make some coffee, if you're already up..." she said with a sleepy voice, still laying on her stomach, hugging her pillow, only opening her eyes to make sure that the blonde is still in the room.

"When have you become such a heavy sleeper? That used to be me." Maca looked at her frowning after she got into her blouse. "It's 9 am."

"I guess when we started sharing a room, and I realized that if I wake up as I used to, I wake you up too and then you're grumpy for half a day..." Zulema sighed "So eventually I got used to sleeping back, and then... well... I wake up like this... So make some coffee. Please..." she added smiling at the blonde who looked down at her rolling her eyes.

"We lived in a trailer for years, and we never had problems with who wakes up earlier or who doesn't..." 

"Yeah..." Zulema sat up rubbing her face. "But we slept in separate beds, well... mostly... and I didn't have to crawl out from under your stray limbs every morning." she said pouting. "You used to need less space at the beginning."

Maca let out an annoyed laugh. "Well you are the one sleeping in the middle of the bed, and I'm sorry but I am past the stage when I'll sleep tight at the edge of it with the risk of falling down just to not... touch you." 

"Fair enough..." Zulema nodded. "Then maybe we should go back to sleeping in separate rooms sometimes. Just to get a proper, healthy, resting sleep once in a while." she said seriously.

"It wouldn't be you, if you wouldn't complain about something..." Maca shook her head, then she smiled at the brunette. "You can sleep wherever you want, it wouldn't change anything anyway, would it?"

"It wouldn't." Zulema said with a content smile.

They were at a place when neither coming closer, nor moving a bit apart would change anything. The relationship they had was resilient. They had the feeling that they were so balanced, so content and so at ease as never before, and they couldn't imagine anything, not even an earthquake which could shake them out of this state.

They still didn't put a label on it, but along the way they also forgot to keep reminding themselves about what they are not and about not to cross lines. They didn't even mention lines anymore. They were aware of what the other wanted, may that be affection, intimacy, distance or a slap back to reality. Zulema spent less, if any time out at nights. Maca never went out often anyway. They never uttered the words that they would be exclusive for each other, there were no explicit words of love shared either. Not because of any commitment issues. Probably just because there was a strange feeling of satisfaction which came from insisting that they allow the other to do whatever the hell she wants, and continuously getting a silent confirmation that they in fact don't want anything else.

"Did you ever fantasize about me while we were in jail?" Zulema asked suddenly as she stood up and looked at Maca with a smirk.

"What?!" Maca laughed. "I was preoccupied with not ending up being killed by you, I didn't have time to fantasize..." she said mockingly.

"Well... The line between intimidation and sexual tension between us used to be very blurry. It still is, I'd say... So... There was nothing back then?" she asked on a surprised tone. "There was a short time when you didn't have to worry about me killing you. We also shared a cell then." she added with a smirk

"Zulema, you were a shipwreck then. I pitied you."

"You told me that you did not pity me... Damn, the things you find out if enough time passes..."

"Why are you asking this at all? Did _you_ fantasize abut me back then?" Maca raised an eyebrow.

"No. You know that I wasn't into women. I'm still not too much into women actually. You're an exception from the rule, I guess..." she shrugged. "So don't be flattered, you didn't have much of a competition." she grinned at Maca as she stretched her back and stepped to the window yawning.

"You do realize that this sentence didn't come out as much of an insult as you intended to, right?" Maca looked at her seriously, trying not to laugh.

"Yeah... Whatever. Forget it." Zulema turned away from her, the grin slowly disappeared from her face as it was replaced by a smile hiding in the corner of her lips.

The blonde stepped near her, blocking her way.

"Your skills at coming up with insulting remarks got rusty. I wonder why..." she said flirtatiously.

"You still didn't answer me." Zulema continued ignoring Maca's latest words. "If I would have slithered into your bed one night that time, how would you have reacted?" 

Maca looked at her with open mouth. "I... " She regained the control over her facial expression and stared into the brunette's face. "I would have probably punched you in the face."

"And then?" Zulema asked calmly, with a smile, looking her in the eye. 

"Then?" Maca asked back raising her eyebrows. _Damn_ , Zulema knew her too well already, there was no point in denying anything at this point. 

"What are you trying to accomplish with this questioning? Do you want some role-play in the skin of our past selves, or what?"

"Nah... Not necessarily. I am just trying to pinpoint the moment when you realized that you were attracted to me."

"Well, you could have asked..."

Zulema nodded. "I thought it's more interesting this way, but as you wish... Which was the day when you woke up thinking that 'Damn, this woman could burn me alive but I wouldn't even mind _'cause she's hot!'_ " she said throwing back her hair and then approaching Maca with a predator-like look. 

"Seriously?!" Maca looked at her being unimpressed. She bit her lip to make herself swallow an insult. "I would never not mind being burned alive, and I can't tell you the exact day, but... I guess that the time we spent on the run when I accidentally escaped with you... that kind of made me see you... a bit differently." Maca was surprised that she actually said this out loud. They were close, there was no point in not being honest, but still, with admitting this she once again gave power to Zulema. 

"That early on?!" the brunette asked being genuinely surprised then she started laughing. "Wow..."

Maca looked at her being annoyed. "What is so funny?!"

"I was surprised that you played our pretending game so well, but damn it blondie, you were already practicing it long before I started it..." 

"I didn't have feelings for you." Maca made a grimace. "I hated you. I just..."

"You hated me, you just wouldn't have opposed too much in case I would have wanted to fuck you, I get it." Zulema smiled at her gently. 

"And what was the day you realized that you are attracted to me, huh?" the blonde asked angrily.

"The day we first slept together." Zulema shrugged. "I am not as complicated as I seem to be." she smirked. "Although that wasn't necessarily attraction from the start. It was boredom." she added with a frown making the blonde look at her with an irritated expression. "But yeah... that day it was."

"Boredom?!" Maca stared at her feeling insulted.

"Well I was clear about that even back then. But don't be hung up on it..." Zulema said with a smug smile as she stepped away from her. "All great discoveries were made by people who were either bored or desperate. We were both."

.

"It is so weird that we are not wanted people anymore." Maca said as they were sipping coffee in the kitchen.

"Tell me about it." Zulema laughed bitterly. "We count as traitors now. Not because we had friends we could betray, it's just... It doesn't exactly feel right working with the police." 

The day before they signed a new, and the most beneficial deal with Castillo since they started working with him. They agreed to help the police, and in exchange all their older accusations were dropped, without any residual inconveniences. They were officially free.

"Are we supposed to use our real names now?" Maca asked pondering. 

"Yeah, in our jobs with Castillo. And regarding this house, because the police knows about it..." she rolled her eyes. "But other than that... we're still free." She added with a mischievous smile. 

Maca shook her head laughing. "I love it how not being wanted doesn't equal being free in your book." 

"Well it obviously doesn't equal being free. Did you feel free when you were finally out of jail and back to a boring life?"

"Nah... actually I felt so trapped that I had recurring dreams about you appearing in my life, shaking it up..."

"Really?" Zulema looked at her being once again surprised. "Looks like this is a day of confessions, what else are we about to find out today?" she asked mimicking fear. But then she turned back towards the blonde raising an eyebrow. "Were those wet dreams?" she asked whispering and with a smirk.

"No!" Maca said impatiently. "But they were disturbing enough anyway." she added rolling her eyes. 

"Yeah, 'cause probably that was the time you actually started to fantasize about me. Wasn't it?" she laughed. 

"You're being annoying... I just wanted to get out of routine, I just needed the adrenaline."

"Well you don't have to worry about that, the good old Castillo had a sentence which I appreciated a lot." Zulema continued cheerfully. "He said that we better do our job well because he's tired of running after us and if he has to put handcuffs on us ever again because of a theft, we'll never get out of jail."

"And you appreciated _that_?!" Maca made a grimace.

"Of course! He basically said that if we are not caught he will not try to catch us." Zulema said smiling contently and took a sip of her coffee.

Maca blinked at her. "Are you completely sure he meant that, and you're not just being delusional?"

"Absolutely. I got to know the old guy pretty well in these past months." Zulema smirked. "I think he grew fond of me."

Maca laughed. "Is there something I don't know about?" 

"There are a lot of things you don't know about." Zulema shook her head playfully.

"Ok. You're really being annoying. And you've been pretty decent in the past couple of months."

"Decent is boring after a while." Zulema shrugged.

Maca shook her head smiling. "What the hell are we even talking about? What the hell are we still doing together in the first place? We haven't pulled of a heist for almost 6 months..."

The brunette blinked at her. "Are you missing the adrenaline or are you getting bored of me, blondie?" she asked.

Maca laughed. "Now that's something I never thought I'll see. You being insecure."

"I am not insecure." 

"Then what are you?"

"Curious." the brunette shrugged. "And what do you mean we didn't pull of a heist for 6 months? There was Paris." she added seriously taking another sip. "And we have plenty of money anyway."

"Yeah." Maca nodded. "How could I forget Paris? The heist of the century _really_ turned out successfully..." she chuckled. 

"Well at least we had a good enough reason to mess it up. And you got to finally see Paris. And to finally also spend a month in Morocco while we were waiting for things to calm down. Just the sea, the drinks and... the mosquitoes. Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that." Zulema said on a sensual tone. 

"Yeah, the mosquitoes were indeed memorable..." Maca leaned closer to her, almost kissing her, but she stood up instead the moment their lips would have touched. "Closest we'll get to a honeymoon, I guess."

Zulema laughed. "We are not married."

"Does it make any difference?" Maca shrugged.

Zulema didn't answer, she smiled at her instead, and leaned closer to her across the corner of the table to kiss her, but in that moment Maca's phone atarted to ring. The blonde closed the distance between them anyway for a quick kiss, then reached for her phone, and her expression changed.

"It's Daniel." she said being perplexed. "He hasn't given a sign of life the whole year..." 

Then she answered the phone. Zulema swallowed, suddenly a disturbing feeling ran through her.

"It was her wife actually." Maca said when she finished talking, which consisted only of a _Yes_ , a _No_ a _Why?_ and an _Ok._ "She wants to talk to me personally. She didn't say why." she continued being worried. She looked at the brunette. "Would you come with me?" she asked.

.

An hour later, they and Daniel's wife, Carla were sitting by a dining table, Maca staring at the other woman with fury and disbelief, Zulema was sitting a bit further away from them, lost in her thoughts, biting one of her nails, looking at the little girl who was shaking around a stuffed animal.

"So you're practically saying that..." Maca tried to sum up what the other woman has just told her. "...Daniel got arrested because of a dubious case for four years, you two are in a divorce, and because you are also dealing with your health issues you want me to help you take care of Hope until things get better for you?" she sounded angry. "Are you crazy or just totally insensitive?! You _forced_ me to give up on her, you didn't let me see her for a year, you have no idea what the two of you have put me through and now you have the audacity to ask me to babysit my own daughter whom _you_ took away from me?!"

Zulema closed her eyes. Sometimes Maca was slow in getting the point of unfinished sentences.

"That's not what I meant. And I didn't know that Daniel forced you to give her up until recently, so please don't hate me for that. And her name is Esperanza."

"I'll call her Hope, if you don't mind." Maca said coldly.

The woman shook her head. "As you wish. What I wanted to say wasn't that we want your help. It makes us look really bad but... I can't cope on my own..."

 _And you're probably not trying too much either,_ Zulema thought. _She's not your child after all._

"So what I wanted to say was that I... that we are willing to give her back to you if you still want her. We thought that she'd still be better off with her mother than in an institute." Carla continued.

Maca stared blankly at her. "What?" 

"Do you want your daughter back, Macarena?" 

Maca still stared at her open mouthed, she blinked at her daughter, then at Zulema who was staring seriously in front of herself.

"Zulema, can we have a word?" she asked.

The brunette nodded and followed her out to the hall. 

"I can't let her go again." Maca looked at her with teary eyes. Happy tears. Sad tears. Conflicted tears. "I am absolutely certain that I can't."

"Then don't." Zulema said briefly.

Maca nodded biting her lip, slightly annoyed by Zulema's apparent indifference. Then she laughed shaking her head. "You know... the thing is that I can't let you go once again either. I'll have to figure this out... I'll move back to my apartment with her. You... you can find someone to work with because I obviously won't be able to do robberies anytime soon or... ever again, gosh... But please, _please_ promise me, that you'll not disappear from my life!" she said as she grabbed the brunette's shoulders, looking at her with a desperate expression, any restraint she used to have in the past was nowhere to be seen. She was pleading. 

Zulema blinked at her. "I didn't go anywhere the last time either. I was there the whole time." 

"Yeah, right..." Maca rubbed her forehead. "Damn it!" 

Zulema had a short sentence at the tip of her tongue, one which would probably solve Maca's dilemma. But it was crazy. It was irresponsible. Most of her being was holding her back from saying it, screaming _Don't!_ and hoping that Maca will not ask her about it either. But there was also a part of her which would have uttered the words. Solely because she knew that it would make Maca happy. And probably she would also feel much better that way, because there was sort of a warm, glimmering light at the end of the tunnel thinking about this option while the alternative held only darkness. And this part of her was actually hurt that Maca wasn't even considering that option right now.

Maca buried her face in her palms. "How can something this good make someone feel this bad? What the hell is still wrong with me?!" 

Zulema put a hand on her shoulder. "It only feels bad because you are thinking about making the wrong decision." she said.

"What the hell?!" Maca jumped away from her, shaking off the hand from her shoulder. "Are you saying that wanting my child back is a wrong decision?!" she asked angrily.

"No. I am saying that maybe you shouldn't be thinking about moving out in the first place." 

Maca looked at her with wide open eyes. A part of Zulema was still locking shadowy fingers around her neck trying to stop her from talking further, internally slapping her for saying this, but she ignored the suffocating sensation of her own second thoughts. She took a deep breath instead. 

"Stay. We'll have to quickly furnish a kids room, but we'll slowly figure the rest out. Together." she said with an uncertain but honest smile. 

Maca looked at her with disbelief. "Are you serious?" 

"No. I am joking." Zulema rolled her eyes. "We won't have time to slowly figure things out, because once a kid's in the picture I guess it's like running race with a skyrocket, so we'll have to keep up with her, but-" 

Maca suddenly wrapped her arms around Zulema's neck, burying her face into the dark hair. "Thank you." she said quietly.

Zulema bit the back of her lip as she hugged Maca back. _Here we go... Stupid decision number one. Checked._

Maca looked at Zulema with still teary eyes when they pulled away. "I..."

"I know." the brunette wiped away a tear away from her cheek. "I can't let you go again either."

Then she let go of her and forced a less sentimental tone on her voice. "What is your problem with the name Esperanza, by the way?"

"Nothing. I actually like it." Maca shrugged. But I don't want to call her the way they named her. It's just... I don't know... I just don't want it."

"I get that." Zulema said with a compassionate smile. 

.

"Excuse me, but may I ask...?" Carla looked at Zulema then at Maca when they were leaving her place. "Are you two-"

"We're old friends." Maca said.

"And we are also working together." Zulema added.

"And living together, because it's easier to work that way." Maca shrugged. 

"And fighting a lot." the brunette continued.

"But sticking together nevertheless..." the blonde sighed.

"And apparently having a baby now." Zulema said with a cheerful and astonished expression.

"Oh, then my presumption was correct." Carla nodded. "You're married! You don't have to conceal that, I am not judgmental." the woman said smiling as she opened the door to them.

Maca and Zulema looked at each other rolling their eyes. 

.

They agreed with Carla to move Hope a couple of days later after they finished furnishing a minimally child-friendly room, for a start.

"This much about your wish to have a proper, healthy sleep at night..." Maca whispered when Hope finally fell asleep and they went back to bed for the third time one night. "Are you sure you'll be ok with this?"

"Don't question my decisions blondie, do you know me as someone who'll change her mind midway if she decided to do something?"

Maca shook her head laughing. "Not even in my wildest fantasies would I have believed that I'll end up raising a kid with you!"

"Oh... So you did have wild fantasies about me after all! I knew it!" Zulema grinned. 

"Shut up!" Maca blinked at her. "Of course I did. Let's sleep while we can..." she said as she turned on her side, turning her back towards Zulema and closed her eyes. 

"I love you." Zulema said casually and closed her eyes too, as if she'd just been saying good night.

"I love you too." Maca said on a sleepy voice.

It was the first time they actually said these words without playing games. But it came so naturally, and after such a long time during which they were perfectly aware of it, that they didn't even realize it.

.

While Maca was taking a shower in the morning, Zulema was walking around with Hope on her side, trying to make breakfast. The doorbell rang once again. She sighed and stepped out of the house.

"I swear I miss the time, when no one pushed that button." she said when she opened the front door to Castillo.

"What the hell?" the man asked looking at the little girl on Zulema's side, who was playing with one of those locks of hers which used to give the brunette a nickname. 

"Hell? I wouldn't exactly call this hell, but... Ouch! Behave yourself, you little monster!" Zulema hissed when the girl suddenly pulled her hair, letting out a laugh, being totally satisfied with her deeds. "Well it may be close enough at times..." she sighed. 

"I just passed by because Maca forgot her papers in my office the last time, and..." he handed Zulema an envelope. 

"Typical." Zulema rolled her eyes. "Thanks. Do you want to come in for a coffee?"

"No, I'm not disturbing, apparently you're having guests."

"We're not having guests, Castillo." Zulema smiled. 

.

"You've changed." Castillo said looking at Zulema when he was leaving around an hour later. Maca remained inside cleaning up some mess Hope made from the floor.

"I didn't." The brunette answered firmly. "I was already an angry mother when your imbecil friends put a handcuff on me for the first time. So don't piss me off." she said jokingly but there was also something sad in the way she said it. 

Castillo nodded with a vague smile. "Take care, Zulema."

He sat into his car and threw a second envelope he was holding on the other seat. Zulema asked if it's a new case he needs help with, but he said that it isn't. It was. It was indeed a dubious case he would have asked for their help, but he came to the conclusion that he'll figure it out on his own. 

After all, they found a better anchor than their deal with him which would keep them from burning the world around them to the ground or themselves to ashes. It still didn't completely eradicate the possibility of it happening, but it did considerably lower it's chance.

He gave himself a tired smile as he looked into the rear-view mirror while fixing its position and drove away, not intending to bother them anytime soon. 

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as I said above, this is the last chapter for this fic, but that doesn't mean that it is my last Zurena fic. 
> 
> The thing is that it is difficult to combine work (I'm a resident doctor) with writing, and I want to continue writing my original fiction too, and writing takes A LOT of time and focus away, so... yeah... I've basically written the first drafts for these last three chapters on my shifts while there was nothing to do.
> 
> But I think that as long as I have ideas and time and will, I am going to write. :)  
> So you haven't seen the last of me. I have no idea what or when I'll write next time, but I am pretty sure that I will write more.
> 
> One thing is sure though: Don't expect me to write more about them with a baby. As I said earlier, I don't feel like doing that. (But with a 5-8 year-ish old, reckless girl who annoys Maca with the stuff she learns from Zulema? It's not a promise, but who knows...)
> 
> Many thanks for you all for reading and showing support along the way!! ❤


End file.
